Brighten A Stranger’s Day—One Public Lavatory At A Time

Zach Moore
Sep 6, 2018 · 2 min read

And now, a roleplay exercise:

You’re alone in a stall with your thoughts and last night’s dinner, but there are a dozen people in the restroom with you. Some of them are waiting on you. You’re uncomfortable. The florescent lighting makes a gross situation somehow feel uncomfortably sterile. You hope no little kid runs up and pokes his head underneath the door.

You hear the door swing open. Someone else enters. These people are never going to leave, and you just want to die, already. You’re self-conscious, even though no one can see your face. The thought: “I hope they don’t remember my shoes” struts across your mind for some reason. Then you remember that of course they will, because you wore your sequined adult light-up sneakers with the springy coil shoestrings. All seems lost in that moment.

Then, someone starts whisper-singing a twice-discovered, forever-relevant Rick Astley anthem about commitment. And they don’t stop. They get louder. And louder. Until eventually, as they’re washing their hands, they’re at a full belt. You imagine a what their face looks like as well as the expressions on it.They continue singing until you hear the “track” fade as they grab their paper towels and exit the room without a word of explanation.The pressure on your colon and your psyche have decreased. You are grateful to this musical stranger.

Only now you have a song stuck in your head.

Imagine now that you are the person who has done the singing. Like Johnny Cash at Folsom Prison, you have performed for an audience of people who had no choice but to be where you were. When you’re lying in bed later, you’ll remember the looks on the faces of those you had proclaimed to never give up. You know that no matter how bad their day was prior to that moment, you overshadowed all negativity. You think of other fun songs you could sing to other peeing strangers.

You sleep well.

Zach Moore

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I’m only here until my career as a stock photo model takes off.