Beyond the Same Sex Marriage question

My accountant had just finished my tax return, he pushed his chair back tilting it into recline position; “So Morag, what’s your view on Same Sex Marriage”?

My mind raced for a few split seconds and I giggled to myself, finally I had taken some time a few weeks prior to put some of my thoughts in writing. It’s certainly something I had thought about a lot and articulating some thoughts on paper had been beneficial for me. There were so many opinions flying around, but had I come to my own conclusion, had I spent time to consider my position? Yes! Yes, I had, at least to a degree…

Go back a month or so, I got asked a question via a private message, from someone I’ve never met. It went like this…“This is a more personal question that I have been holding back to ask someone but since I live in Australia, and at the moment the plebiscite and the vote for same sex marriage is going on , I have been confused and wondering, how as Christians should we treat this?

Here’s my response, it’s not comprehensive by any stretch, but it’s a few thoughts, so here goes…

“You ask a good question about the issue of same sex marriage. I believe as Christians we do need to stand for what the Bible teaches being that marriage is between a man and a woman. It is the only union that God has given on earth that incorporates the fullness of all forms of God’s love and is unique for natural sexual relations, procreation of children and God’s ideal for family.

There are many thoughts that can then be thrown around with this idea, and it’s not to say that people can’t have a love for each other and children can’t be brought up outside of that family environment — but marriage is the only relationship where every aspect of the fullness of love for what God intended can flourish. Psalm 107 is a good verse to read and ponder.

It’s not loving if someone asks you what God’s law says and you don’t tell them. The Bible is clear about sin, and it’s separates us from God. The important key to remember is;

Anyone that has not given Jesus control of their lives and acknowledged that Jesus is the only way to God are eternally separated from God regardless of what sin they may or may not be committing.

Sin is serious and God cares about it, and He also cares about the state of our heart. Remember this, He doesn’t first present all the barriers of why you cant follow Him, He presents what the kingdom of God is like. If we then choose to give Him control and turn from the things that separate us from Him, then Jesus floods into our lives and sets us free from all those hurdles, He heals all brokenness and He fulfils the deepest longing of our hearts. 1 John 1:5–10 talks about how we can be forgiven of sin, and the blood of Jesus purifies us so we can walk right before God.

Where the difficulty lies in sharing our faith with others, is where people are at in their own lives and what they are ready to receive and hear.

That’s where it’s key to listen to the Holy Spirit and take His direction. It’s not about our agenda, it’s about God’s and only He can change a heart. What does it do to someone to say what you’re doing is wrong? Many of the warnings in the Bible around homosexuality are for the people who are already followers of God, Ephesians 5 gives very clear warning which includes not even a hint of sexual immorality or foolish talk should be found in us. If my identity is wrapped in my sexuality, and I hear first up how much God loves me, wants me, longs for relationship with me, thinks I’m amazing and has the offer of a love relationship with me that nothing or no-one else can satisfy then that woos me to something far more attractive. If I can have my eyes opened that the life I am living without God is a counterfeit to the real thing — then wow, who wouldn’t want the real thing?

It takes wisdom and guidance from God for every circumstance and taking His direction as you go. Think of these scenarios

  • Some people are sitting on a slow wheelbarrow being pushed along on a long road to destruction and they just need someone alongside saying, come on there’s a better way, let me help
  • Some are in a car moments away from a head on crash and they need you to yell “stop” so they can hit the brakes
  • Some have already been intoxicated by smoke in a burning house lying on the floor and they need you to drag them out and nurse them to health
  • Some are on a party train and no matter how much you lovingly talk, yell or scream stop they simply don’t care. They are happy on the train (just remember they may finally want your help as they are flung from the train and on their last dying breath, so don’t give up!)”

I was reading this to a friend just before I published this blog. Her very first comment to me was “you haven’t answered the question”. Exactly! So often we can be waiting to pounce on someone’s view or opinion, waiting to hear the “yes” or the “no” rather than hearing the heart and the reason. If however, if you read between the lines the question has been answered.

So let’s go back to my accountant’s question, I don’t remember my exact response word for word, but it went something like this…

“Funny you should ask me that, it’s a bit of a loaded question really and one that requires a bit of discussion. I was preaching at my church a few weeks back and talking about how important it is for us to spend time with God and articulate for ourselves what we believe about issues. I’ve talked to loads of people that believe God hates them because they’re gay, that breaks my heart and it’s so far from the truth. The Bible is clear about homosexuality, and it’s also clear on lying or cheating too. I can’t vote, I’m not a citizen, but if I could as a Christian I would need to say no.”

“Ah, so you’re taking the religious angle” he mused. He went on to tell me he wasn’t happy, and how people don’t understand what implications it means for Australia to legalise same sex marriage. The conversation took so many twists and turns.

We chatted for around an hour and discussed all sorts of things. Something that stuck with me as I left; “Thanks Morag I really enjoyed talking to you” he said. “I’ve never thought about the spiritual aspect of God, I never get to chat to Christians much they get so defensive.”

My reply as I walked away smiling was; “I’ve really enjoyed our chat too, there’s no need for me to get defensive. I don’t need to defend God, He can do that himself”.

I’m grateful to engage in discussion, I don’t always get it right, but God’s helped me relax and have fun. Something very cool about this discussion is that my accountant was going to go home and talk to God about inviting God’s spirit into his life. It’s amazing what great conversations you can have as you take time to discuss and listen to each other.