home
‘you had your bed made
had all these precious memories.
you had to runaway…’
so what is home and why am i so obsessed with it? it’s not the song that i’m talking about. it’s the feeling you get when you walk into a space and know you’re meant to be there.
i think i know what that feeling is because i know what it’s like to not feel it — to be afraid at every turn. to feel all eyes on you and not in a good way.
and every day someone else knows that feeling too well.
i don’t think i was afraid because i knew i was gay. i was afraid because i was different — that i would be found out for being different.
i wish i had a cousin like Matthew in my video. someone who suggested “you know… my cousin just came out and if you’re looking for a boy to star in your video.. you should ask him”. because then maybe i would have shown up on set (a little nervous) but felt immediately free and accepted. i wish i had an ounce of courage and bravery to show up to set like a true star — like Matthew.
but what i did have was my voice. my words. my heart.
and home is a constant journey… one i am honored to share with you.
thank you for sharing this music and this journey with me.
m
