Dear Rich Hollywood Producer Guy,

How’s Tinsel Town? I bet great. Do you hang out with big time stars like Dean Cain and Kevin Sorbo? Tell them hi for me. Big fan.

Me and the writing team are already working on several My Daughter spin-offs, including — My Step-Daughter and My Daughter: Special Victims Unit. Also, we have in our warehouse / office / dumpster 1,000 completely packaged and ready-to-ship My Daughter slap bracelets.

I understand that your vast distribution network would ensure the global success of My Daughter, but I do have some reservations about selling the licensing for just $27.95. If you also throw in a collapsed career signed by Luke Perry, then you got a deal.

Really looking forward to doing business in 3.2.1… Action! Golly, already talking like a big time movie guy.

Sincerely,

Morgan “L.A. Chill” Loehr