Is it okay if I think I’d love myself better if I was thinner?

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I don’t know what to think about fatness — I am terribly biased. On the one hand, I fiercely believe that our weight doesn’t define our values and our personality has nothing to do with our clothes sizes. I think it’s terribly wrong that there is beautyism and ageism, and I truly believe that we should grow up as a society, and stop being bullies towards each other.

On the other hand, I hate being fat. I hate that I am not a size 2 or 4. I hate that I don’t have a thigh gap. I hate that I…


And I wanted to keep my integrity as well

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Photo by Dmitry Schemelev on Unsplash

I published two articles in May, early on and then for the rest of the month nothing. It’s not that I was writing and not publishing. It’s that I completely stopped writing on this account.

I did write for my other assignments, but to keep up with my previous practice of writing — it was impossible. I used to write daily, sometimes even more than once. I did it because I loved to do it.

And then the pandemic hit and everything turned upside down, I was turned upside down too.

Suddenly, nothing seemed as important. No topic, no opinion…


But you were too shy to ask someone with a vagina

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Photo by Ava Sol on Unsplash

I was a late bloomer and I didn’t get my period until the last year of primary school. I didn’t have period envy because honestly, the idea of bleeding freaked me out and I had zero intention in having it sooner than I had to, but because the mention of it brought an embarrassed cringe to our PE teacher’s face and it meant skipping a Cooper-test or any other heinous torture.

It was amusing to watch how he felt uncomfortable about something perfectly normal and quite frequent, but his ignorance helped the girls to skip the PE class multiple times…


The dilemma of low sex drive during unprecedented and sexless times

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Photo by Toni Cuenca on Unsplash

I’m not going to lie to you, the lockdown has messed up quite a few things. On a macro level, it turned the whole world upside down, made us reinvent ways of living, ways of working, ways of connecting with others. On a micro level, it tinkers with mental health, health, weight, self-esteem and sex drive too.

While in the grand scheme of things, a drop in libido doesn’t sound too important — compared to deaths, rising number of cases, at-risk healthcare workers and the potential economic consequences, when I am thinking about my own life, it doesn’t seem as…


Not only the source but also the feeling matters

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If diamonds are a girl’s best friends, then I don’t know where to put orgasms. The bff label is too cliché, the life-long companion sounds stale, the soulmate is way too romantic for something that can be so animalistic and raw.

For sure, without being too anal about labels, me and my orgasms are really good friends. I know them well and I appreciate each of them — without exception. Of course, I have favourites, I’d be lying if I said otherwise.

When you talk about orgasm types, it’s quite usual to list the source of pleasure to fit them…


Can you and should you educate someone on basic sexuality?

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My friend called me yesterday and I heard she was quite upset. She downplayed it — as usual, and asked me if I was fine, but I heard in the tone of her voice that she can’t wait for me to ask how she was.

She told me that she might go crazy and she’d had enough of the social distancing and she might need to ask for my therapist’s number. I told her I was there to listen if she ever wanted to talk and she was unusually reluctant to start telling me what was bugging her.

Finally, she…


And what to do to get it back

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One of the greatest perks of sex positivity is that we talk about the female orgasm and pleasure more and more. Thankfully, it is getting more attention, we are educating ourselves about the female anatomy and we are educating others as well.

Women are talking more openly about their bodies, their needs and their expectations — leaving shame and patriarchy behind.

Enjoying our bodies and teaching our partners how to help us to more pleasure is a sign of being comfortable in our skins and having a comfortable and safe relationship with our partners, where open communication and honesty are…


And a few really good ones

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Threesomes have been a common fantasy for men and women; in fairness it’s one of the most prevalent sexual fantasies out there. And as much as they are great to imagine — the double pleasure and double challenge — it is getting easier to attain it too.

You don’t have to be a porn star, you don’t need to get into full swinging mode, and you don’t need to be ashamed of it either.

As we are stepping away from conservative patriarchal values towards sex positivity, as more and more of us talk openly about their sexuality, we slowly get…


Understanding the different layers of human connection to have better relationships

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Photo by Kiwihug on Unsplash

When I first met him, my heart was sighing “oh, oh” minutes before he even noticed me. I was sitting in a bar and I saw him with his friends in the periphery of my eye and I couldn’t let go until he finally looked at me — and smiled.

The bar was crowded, I had a table for myself and they had no place to sit so they ended up sitting at my table that I was only too happy to offer. I don’t know what drew me to him. I didn’t understand it then, nor later, nor now…


5 tips to make use of your single days for more effective dating later

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Photo by Ladislav Bona on Unsplash

For some, it is sometimes difficult to be single, but it’s even more challenging to be single during tough times. When you are left to your own devices, without anyone to support you, to hold you, to accept you for who you are. These times we are living now are hard for every one of us — making it through alone is something we never asked for, but yet, here we are. We need to make do with what we have, trying to make the most of it.

When you are single — under normal circumstances — there is always…

Octavia Morrison

If you’re always trying to be normal you will never know how amazing you can be. Sign up for my newsletter: octavia.substack.com

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