I have to ask, what about their words or behavior gave you this impression? Every adult with disabilities I have spoken to, or have read writing from online, describes a heavy burden of criticism, shaming, bullying, and being told that the way they think, perceive, and move is wrong from an early age. In addition to the messages from parents, teachers, and community you got, they get it from therapists and early interventionists who they know are meant to “fix” them (Here’s a particularly well-put example https://ischemgeek.wordpress.com/2015/02/23/what-if/). Disability shame is a serious problem (http://www.raggededgemagazine.com/life/shamespeaks1.html) and, I think, explains why the majority of children and adults with autism or ADHD have anxiety or depression. You’re better placed than most neurotypicals to understand what disability shame feels like, I think, because you also experienced being told to “get it right” instead of trusting your own body and brain.