Breakdown: How I Quit Everything to Go Travelling

It’s a strange concept to go away and get lost in order to find yourself. But somehow, that’s what people do. Or at least that’s what I did.

Last year, I had ... how to put it... a meltdown.

My intense anxiety reached such a peak that I didn’t know what else to do other than run for my life away from everything.

This led me to breaking up with my boyfriend of almost 7 years, quitting my well-paid marketing job, leaving our beautiful apartment in the heart of Madrid, and shoving all of my stuff in a storage compartment. And adiós — off I went, just like that.

The following month, I was already boarding a one-way flight to Bangkok. The plan? No plan, just to wander around the Thai capital in shock thinking, what the hell am I doing here?

The good, the bad and the ugly, I went through it all on the road. Travelling is certainly a great distraction, it’s exhausting, especially if you do it long-term. You almost don’t have the time for anything else but travelling. And sometimes each spare minute is filled with existential dread, what am I doing, not just here, but in life? What am I coming back to?

Going away, you realise that travelling is not about chasing the waterfalls, that nobody else has the answers you’re seeking, but you.

You learn that life isn’t about finding yourself. It’s about creating yourself.

There are no secrets written on the walls of exotic Laotian temples that’ll tell you what your dream career is. And no amount of Pho will warm your heart to the idea of marrying the person you grew apart from.

It's hard to get perspective when you’re so caught up in a situation. So we often need to remove ourselves to get clarity, and that’s what travelling allows you to do.

All of the answers need to come from within you, but travelling can facilitate that environment, where you have the time and space to think.

You’ll meet beautiful people and share their stories. You’ll see things you didn’t know were possible. It’s scary, it’s exciting, but most importantly it can unlock the inner voice you’ve been suppressing for years.

But no, I don’t believe there is anything inherently special about travelling, because no matter where you go, you will carry yourself with you. You’ll carry the heaviest load of them all — your emotional baggage.

And what about my anxiety? It’s gone. Crazy, I know. So yes, I guess I did find what I was looking for.