Why Batman should take more of your Kid’s TV time

Is Batman even a superhero?

Well, depends on who’s watching. I know your kid thinks he is, so he is.

I have a thing for Batman, and I think he can help your kid.


Batman qualifies as hero, because he is clever

Superheros usually have that mystic thing about them, even if they are not a very clever breed. For example, we all know Superman does not have enough sense to survey a situation before he gets into it. He’s more likely to get into a Lex Corp elevator using brute force rather than reading the labels and pressing the right button. But Batman. Batman is different. His power is his ingenuity. He’s had and still has his many troubles — being orphaned, being single, the Joker etc. But he knows staying clever is his ultimate prize. So the only TV hero your kid can ever really be is Batman. Forget cosplay.

Kids must learn early enough that in the end, a brilliant and well trained mind will save them a lot of trouble. It’s ok to be beautiful (or handsome), but it’s better to be clever.

Batman is a diversity champion

It is hard to work in a team with people from different planets with each having their own idiosyncrasies, much less lead them. But Batman has by far been the best team lead the Justice League has had. The team is made of:

  1. a green (yes, green, as a leaf) martian manhunter, J’onn J’onzz
  2. a feminist’s dream-come-true, Diana
  3. a belligerent US marine veteran, John Stewart
  4. another woman that wields an Nth Metal mace (that’s what they call it), Hawkgirl
  5. the Flash
  6. the king of Atlantis, Aquaman
  7. and that dude from planet Krypton, Superman.

Summarily, Batman has to lead a team of one martian, two women, one black guy, a Krytonite, a speedster, a water-world overlord and his own sometimes unbearable self. This, the diversity of diversities is something we rarely see. You can therefore see that Batman is the deal.

The world’s population won’t stop growing, neither will immigration rates. If your kids or teenagers would not suck at getting along with white, black or muslim peers because they look, talk, think, dress or act quite differently, they’d better start seeing more of Batman.

Batman can mentor young leaders

The more reason why Batman leads a pack of other superheros is because of his originality. He knows when to quit. He knows how to reprimand. His sense of humor isn’t very bad, at least better than Superman’s. And yet he has no special eccentricities except that he is a billionaire, which has little to do with saving the world.

It’s a good thing for children to know they can lead their playgroups, soccer teams, or serve as class president even when they are not the most exceptional. All they need is a good self-esteem, composure, sense of humor and clean bat suits, no, clothes. Not forgetting the BatGlare when they need to say something serious.

The BatGlare in all its glory

Batman has a library card

Really. Here’s proof:

We both looked into the abyss. But when it looked back at us, you blinked.
 —Batman, Crisis on Two Earths
Batman vs Owlman in Crisis on Two Earths

Is this guy for real?

Batman most probably got this stunner after reading Nietzsche’s Beyond Good and Evil:

He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.
 — Friedrich Nietzsche

This epic Batman reprimand for the Owlman serves a broad lesson to your kid who isn’t old enough to bother about Nietzsche’s philosophical troubles:

while trying to beat the evils in our system, one must beware to not get corrupted in the process, plus they should get a library card long before they are old enough to understand life’s philosophies.

You can imagine the intellectual miracle that would follow if these Batman sayings fell on the ears of your 10 year old.

So you see, Batman is a great fit. He would teach your kids how to hack computers (ethically), fight for justice when they must, not believe in magic, not cry for mummy in the dark and when of age (or even earlier) start their own billion dollar corporations.

PS: Behind every retribution for crime is a detective story. Kids must carry on the legacy of the world’s greatest detective — Batman. Recommend!