Thoughts that Trail Away #1
Thoughts about home? Upon coming home from a 5-month-long journey, I am even more detached. It’s not those far-from-home journeys where I had to stray and strive on the wilderness on my own but it was similar. Apparently, cities are no different from jungles. They have a specific coldness and hostility oozing from its core. For the 5-months I’ve spent away from home, I’ve constantly been passed on from city-to-city. Especially in the last weeks before going back home, I’ve slept in so many different beds and not once do I feel like I’ve rested. Naturally, I seek for home; the warmth, the people, the love.
As soon as I land in the Motherland I was intrigued by a sudden streak of thoughts I thought I wouldn’t have. I reckon how I wanted to leave so bad.
All the reasons I wanted to leave in the first place washed away my will to go home; afraid of the people, the coldness, and worries of being unloved.
I realised that I am not the same person as I was — the person who left home with such self-confidence and an immense pride in self-reliance.
February 2019
