How to be a mess: intro

How to be a mess.

I know, I know, you’re doing this just fine on your own. Everyone else seems to be doing better than you, you’re lacking in finances, friends, personal care and skills. You ARE a mess, you don’t need anyone to teach you that!

Except.

That’s not the kind of mess I’m talking about. Hi, I’m Pastelle, and I’m known to describe myself in such flattering terms as ‘proper mental’. Why do I do it? Well, the first thing to understand I guess, is that I am autistic, have bipolar, narcolepsy, panic disorder, agoraphobia and social phobia. All that by itself wouldn’t be so bad… if I wasn’t a mess just in general. See my finances aren’t just lacking, I’m on a disability pension and mania has caused me to make some… unwise purchases. I’m not just lacking friends, I can’t make them. Through personally inconceivable ways I make people scared. And I’m not lacking skills, I’m beyond OBSESSED with acquiring skills. I’ve been known to stay awake for days on end, learning to a medically detrimental degree. A part of my autism profile is called PDA, it stands for pathological demand avoidance. Which means that the everyday demands of life bring on terrible meltdowns if forced, but otherwise an urge to avoid compulsively, which I fight with all my energy.

Some of my autistic and personal obsessions (and I do mean obsessions) are history, literature, insects, art, music and… 9/11. I’m Australian by the way. Yet through this persistent chaos, I live a life rich with significant experience and potential. It’s bright and dark, it’s beautiful, it’s ugly. It’s a mess. And on this blog… I want to teach you how to do it. A little bit tongue-in-cheek, a little bit genuine teaching and always very honest. Remember that Pastelle is weird, and welcome to my mess!

First tutorial coming soon: How to avoid friends while keeping them

Check out Mademoiselle Pastelle’s YouTube channel HERE