Father. A Designation
Bread earner, support system, caretaker of the family, a daughter’s super hero, house owner… wonder if so many labels for him makes him a better father or it doesn’t. Has anyone ever looked at him as a Human who has an individual self… with his choices of life, his fears, doubts, good side and for sure a dark side too.
Everyone has roles for him. But his inner self has no role to play in the role defined for him. Does he even get a chance to decide :)
And what happens if he is unable to play one of the above roles defined in his designation? Hell breaks lose!!!
He is judged, looked down upon… if not by you then by someone outside who is wanting him to be or looking at him from the Lens of an IDEAL father.
These judgements. Either makes the father better or breaks the father forever. And along with the father the individual goes through the make or break journey. The designation starts questioning if the individual that lies deep within himself was good enough.
Wow!!! Designation has won. It’s over powered the individual.
And the other side of the coin.. if he plays all the roles… then… what a lovely man? What a lovely father? See be like him – learn from him to be a father. Now the same label works the other way for everyone. But for the individual… he is yet searching a place where he can be himself. The way he was chosen to be born by the almighty.
What if the designation didn’t exist. Would his heart and soul behave differently? Is the designation making him do or not do things? Would he be more lighter as a human? Would you not get a chance to see the REAL HIM?
Think about it….
I’ve lost my father. And do I miss my father or do I miss the man who said to me – “to be Arjun, you have to fight the Mahabharata” or the one who bought me a foreign cricket bat just because he saw my friend having one… Was he playing a father’s role or was he someone he believed and loved me. I don’t know. I am figuring it out myself. As today I am A FATHER too :)
Endless opinions on this topic… Endless logical points… And none of them are right nor wrong. Till this sets us thinking and alters our lens… may be it can make a difference…. For the father who was and is first, an individual. Just like you and me :)