Why being honest to others can be bad

A illusion that honesty is precious has been in my life since forever. Maybe the Christian part of me thought that God would love me more if I were honest to others about what I think or feel. The tricky part of being honest to others is that you spend to many time trying to figure out how to say what you think, instead of questioning why you think that way or feel the need to express yourself about it. I’m not saying that you should keep things to yourself, but, in what way the need of being honest towards others can be an escape to being honest to yourself? Once a friend of mine told me that it was hard to be close to me because I was “honest where I should be fragile” and at the moment, I took it as a complement. I didn’t understand what it meant. Maybe not even he understood what he meant. The thing is, being honest to yourself takes us to fragility. And that shouldn’t mean something negative. Why would we be more comfortable saying what we think (or what we think we think) than organizing our thoughts in order to be honest to ourselves? It’s the fragility. There is no way I would let myself be unprotected without my 20-year-old guard. A life of successful accomplishments does not fit vulnerability. I was always proud of shrouding what I thought of myself with my honesty with others.There is no pride on showing people who you are. But, one does not live on external approval (or at least, shouldn’t). To be honest to yourself is more than being self-conscious, it’s about cherishing what you find inside your internal thoughts. And once you dig out who you are and embody you “self-honesty” things should get less excruciating. Or so I hope, I will let you know.