Why Finding Your Passion Can Be Hard

** This is my first post here on Medium. I’d just like to mention how wonderful this community is, and how happy I am to have found it :) I hope you enjoy my post! **

It starts off when you are a child. People ask you all the time “What do you want to be when you grow up?” and just stare at you in that expectant way. Now, some kids say they want to be a policeman, or a ballerina, or a scientist, whatever. That’s all fine and good, but when you reach a certain age, it’s just not enough anymore. You must have a plan! How are you going to achieve your dream job? What degree will you take? What will you do with your life?

You see, there’s a certain pressure on you when you are young (mostly as a teenager) to figure out your passion. “If you know what you want to be, you’ll be set” - they say - “Just find your passion in life!”. Like it’s a given, like you are just supposed to know it.

I am here today to tell you that there is nothing wrong with not knowing what your “true passion” is, and I will explain why very shortly. But for that, I must tell you a bit more about myself.

Ever since I can remember, I have had very varied interests. I like trying new things, explore new areas of knowledge. I’m one of those people who just loves to learn. Unfortunately, I am also a person who has a problem with boredom. A BIG problem.

I started noticing a pattern in my life, you see. I would come across a subject, whatever it may be, and become quite interested. “I don’t really know much about this, but I would love to learn, it looks awesome!”, I would think to myself. And would I start studying, burying myself in information, absorbing it all, learning it all, becoming good at something by my own merit. I must admit that I become slightly obsessive sometimes. And then, when I would reach my peak, when I’d finally be able to say that I know broadly what the subject is all about, I’d start to get bored. And when I get bored, I’m done. And then I don’t even want to look at it anymore.

Let the anxiety begin!

I have gone through this cycle time and time again. It took me a bit to recognize it in the first place, but once I did, every time I got excited about something new I was afraid of it. And every time I got bored I got disappointed with myself.

I asked myself time and time again what was wrong with me and why couldn’t I just find my “passion”. Why couldn’t I just find that one thing I am awesome at, because if I could just do that, I would be set! I could dedicate my life to it and never get bored.

Now, maybe some of you can relate to this. I have met some people in my life who have similar feelings and doubts and it can be paralyzing. This is the main reason I am writing this post.

This is for all of the people that are being pressured into making a lifelong decision (like a career choice, per example) when they are sure as hell not ready for it.

I had no clue what I wanted to do, no clue what I would eventually end up getting bored with, so I did what I do best: I rationalized it. Instead of going to university, I started working. I took a job in any area that seemed interesting. I tried something and if I saw that it was really boring, I would try something else. I did this for a few months, until I landed a job in Software Testing.

And, to my surprise, I really liked it! An area I wouldn’t have picked before, and a job I didn’t even know was a thing. But the fact is that Software Testing gave me the variety I need to combat my boredom tendencies. Of course that there are boring days, but the job is definitely not.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not encouraging everyone to be a Software Tester. My message is a bit broader: There is no “passion” for some people. Some people have varied and many interests, and that’s okay! My advice is to keep your balance. Find something you can live with, that won’t make you miserable, and make THAT your career.

Certain careers are also better for people who get easily bored. Careers that are more artistic will give you freedom, per example. Or, a career involving traveling will give you plenty of regular change. Just try it out! There is no rule saying you have to KNOW what you want. It is completely okay to discover it. And you know what the best part is? You won’t spend the rest of your life wondering if you made the right choice.

Once you set on your main career, there is another part of this process.

Once you have your constant, you can then spend your free time pursuing other interests and passions. Keeping it varied is the key.

The wonderful truth is, once you stop trying to find your “passion” and focus on your likes and dislikes as a spectrum, you can place different subjects across the spectrum and decide how much exposure to it you want to have.

In other words, since I really like SW Testing, I made that my main job. Have been doing it for four years now, and still going well (keep in mind I would get bored of things after about a month or so). And then, in my free time, I try new things, new hobbies. All. Of. The. Freaking. Time. I’m talking all the way from target shooting or gaming, to horseback riding and puzzles. It doesn’t matter how big or small. Keeping it new keeps me interested.

If you are anything like me, if this story speaks to you, stop listening to everyone telling you how you must choose one thing in life, one “passion”. Let me tell you something, there are so many passions in my life.

There are passions in my life that I couldn’t do without. There are also passions that I have learned and occasionally get back to. Or even passions that I got so tired of that I have not pursued any further so far. The point I am trying to make is that this is your life, and the best way you can live it fully is to embrace who you are, even if that means going out into the world to discover it!

It is possible to have multiple passions, and even to make them work together - you just have to invest in getting to know yourself.

I have personally loved following for this method, it has made me truly happy. While before I struggled with anxiety thinking about my future, now I look forward to it. I am planning on going back to university soon, and this time I am actually sure I want to do it. Things tend to work out better when you know yourself.

I hope this helps, or it is at least thought-provoking. I’d love to know if anybody else has done the same or similar.