Does Silicon Valley Need Silicon Sally to Help Curb Sexual Harassment?

Let’s be honest here — Silicon Valley of today is basically nothing more than a Libertarian white male privilege hype machine. A magical realism where white guys tinkering in their garage comes up with the next big idea that change the world. A refuge for John Galt and other ideologues where those with ideas and talent are rewarded through a system of meritocracy. In reality, Silicon Valley is nothing more than an expensive, congested racist/sexist/patent trolling shithole full of pretentious morons chasing old money from white/Jewish bigoted investors personally funding and driving the anti-black/anti-women “bro culture” in the Bay Area to witness Animal House or Porky’s played out in a fishbowl.

Silicon Valley used to be a place back in the 1980s and 1990s with founders of Apple and HP and Wang and SGI and DEC and more but in reality, after the dotcom fallout in 2000, innovation have spread out worldwide to China, Taiwan, Singapore, Korea, UK, Poland and more. You go to Silicon Valley in 2017, and you just see a bunch of “me-too” stuff copied from trend-setting areas like Tokyo or Shanghai. Really, if you want to see awesomeness in tech innovation, you go to China and Japan or UK nowadays. No garbage HBO series is going to spin Silicon Valley to be anything special — it’s actually a boring unexcited place, really. Seriously, show me the TV series where China create a new billionaire everyday — that’s the real story I want to see.

Tech bro culture promotes the idea of some Revenge of the Nerds getting the hot babe by outsmarting everybody. Let’s get something out of the way — you see these VC investors in 2017 after the Uber and other sexual harassment fallout acting like they were not aware of “booth babes” at tech conferences? Or these VC investors are pretending to be naïve these tech magazines like Wired or Fast Company establishing a white male narrative all the time? I seriously find it funny right now seeing these VCs, even the women ones acting like they were not dangling the narrative to young white male dorks that if they worked with them, they will drive nice cars and bang hot chicks.

Women are consistently used by the VC industry and by startups as sex trophies for nerds to entice them to join their startup or venture and this activity still continues. Sports agents and recruiters do the same thing to high school and college athletes but what’s awkward is when it comes to us black guys, all they try to offer us is white women not hood chicks to try to entice us (when we like our hood sistas), making it awkward and obvious to us black guys. Really, it is awkward as an African-American tech talent who desires Takeisha from the West Side of Chicago with a baby by some incarcerated dude, it is awkward where this VC show me an Asian secretary with a mini-skirt on at their office as my first introduction to the VC world when I just want to handle business. That’s when I saw what kind of game they were playing over in Silicon Valley.

Because Silicon Valley promotes a “women as sex object” culture where “booth babes” are used to attract nerds to their trade show display, show off hot secretaries as their personal trophy and the innuendoes that the top talent guy is banging the hot chicks at the job, it is consequential that these nerds entering these bro culture tech startups and tech firms are going to look at women as not a fellow contributor but as a sexual conquest they can encounter at the water cooler, taking out to lunch or at a drinking social. By the way let me ask you something — have you ever seen in your professional life at any job just guys drinking together on the job? Have you noticed the women from the job has to be present or involved to actually have a liquor-serving office party? Those “drinking office parties” is also one of those sexual conquest touchpoints as well at these work environments. In my career, the only thing I seen from drinking office parties are sexual harassment claims and deaths (3 fellow coders died from single car DUI in my career leaving the drinking office party — this is true) and people getting fired. Keep in mind most of the time, VCs personally sponsor these office drinking parties for the startups.

If you want to take sexism out of Silicon Valley, it is very straightforward and simple. You don’t need to mess with Silicon VCs money; the money doesn’t mean shit and people keep saying hit them in the pocketbook which is false. This bro culture isn’t about money and in all cases, it’s never about money. Even if you are a startup chasing Silicon Valley dreams, you don’t need a dime from the VC community — you probably not thinking hard enough and realize it may be better to do invoice financing of debt financing than have some sexist VC put their Stanford buddy bro friends on your startup board of directors and turn your startup into a bigoted misogynist work culture. There is a better and more simpler way to deal with the Silicon Valley bro culture than go after Silicon Valley finances. To deal with Silicon Valley, you simply take away Silicon Valley bro culture access to fame and their cheap desire to fuck; that is what “bro culture” is truly about and what you leverage to change the sexist/discriminatory landscape in Silicon Valley.

I don’t acknowledge anything about anybody in Silicon Valley, no one there is entitled to fame with me. I don’t care who invented what or who created what and who did what in Silicon Valley or where they worked at; I simply don’t give a shit. All I know about Silicon Valley is the rampant racial discrimination and sexism in Bay area excluding blacks and women from equal opportunity to contribute to the American innovation landscape — that’s all Silicon Valley is to me right now. All of you need to stop romanticizing that Silicon Valley crap and whatever HBO is showing. Like I said, if you are true tech talent and hyperreal about this — we’ll be hanging in Shanghai, Taipei or Tokyo checking out tech and innovation, not Silicon Valley; that’s how I know most of you cats are fake in this tech game because you chasing Silicon Valley instead of realizing its Asia right now. Take away the fame from Silicon Valley because if Silicon Valley don’t want to acknowledge blacks or women, we don’t have to acknowledge Silicon Valley. The best way to get revenge on a nerd is not acknowledge that nerd or what they done.

Second, take the sexual trophy conquest game from the bros participating in the bro culture. I can tell you at most Fortune 500 firms, women began collective efforts in loose organizations learning how to identify the women at the job selling the sexual trophy to the bros at the workplace and these professional women created strategies to deal with the hostile environment. What a lot of you do not realize is black/Asians who associated only with white people at the job (ignoring black people at the same job) and women who present themselves as a sex conquest to the bros create a hostile work environment for everybody and most HR departments understand this dynamic. Learn to identify tokenism and sex trophies and take these negative elements out the workplace and send the message loud and clear to bro culture and enablers of bro culture that you are not tolerating this anymore.

Last, and this is the something that should be considered — create an advocacy-based retail pop-up store right in the heart of Silicon Valley featuring silicon sex dolls or “Silicon Sally” targeting the bro culture at tech firms and startups. Dressed the sex dolls up like office workers and market the message if bro culture wants to touch and feel and not be talked back too at the workplace, the bros can purchase a Silicon Sally now in stock for a limited time. In addition, ship a Silicon Sally to a VC office on Sand Hill that we all know promotes bro culture as a gift to give to their next young male talent acquisition instead of offering that young male talent the fantasy of banging some real woman at the workplace trying to make a living and support her family. Personally, I probably would place a Silicon Sally next to the bro culture dude car in the parking lot so they can get the message about sexism and objectifying and take some pics to share around, but that just me.