Worst Movies of 2022
I use the 20-minute method to judge if a film/series is good or bad. If you’re not hooked or interested after the first 20mins, turn it off. You only have one life, and there’s more than enough propaganda to go around! So let’s get into the worst movies of the year!
1. Bros
I thought this was the Mario Bros live-action remake so I took my 5-year-old to see this at the theatre. Well, it turns out this is about New York men sort of discovering their sexualities and then filming it for kids to see. I think we’ll stick with the over-sexualised cartoons, thanks.
2. Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness
Stephen Strange was more Alan Turing than doctor. Not a single person received medical treatment, there were no Tiktok dances, and he didn’t even perform surgery once! I really like doctors (and trust them too) but this guy was way more on the wizard spectrum…
3. Black Adam
This movie is about a Samoan guy in Egypt fighting James Bond and some other random no-names over the fact that he was imprisoned.
I really had high expectations with Black Adam knowing that the writers had previously worked on cultural classics like Scoob! and Alvin And The Chipmunks…
My biggest gripe with the film is that they never tell us how The Rock got to Egypt in 2600 BC.
4. Thor Love and Thunder
They did Chris Hemsworth dirty on this one. Why did they make him some dumb buff guy? This was like The Simpsons in 4k minus the jokes.
Also, why didn’t Jane trust the science? She had to go and do magic to cure her cancer? Sounds oddly religious. Taika Waititi is just giving more ammunition to conspiracy theorists smh.
5. Fire Island
I thought this was about Fyre island which is a cool scam that was pulled by Ja Rule. But Fire Island, the movie, is actually about a guy on SNL who hangs out with a lot of dudes. I honestly couldn’t follow the story because all the guys in the film had these weird over-the-top accents.
6. The Woman King
I know this might seem quite obvious, but why didn’t you just name the movie The Queen? Or is about a guy who’s the king of all women? Cause that’s even more problematic.
7. Morbius
There simply wasn’t enough Morbin in this film. Hopefully, in the second one, we get to see more of Jared Leto being himself AKA texting underage girls.
8. Fletch
Chevy Chase was replaced by a low-energy Jon Hamm. Chevy is irreplaceable, don’t even try.
9. Don’t Worry Darling
This movie is about Florence Pugh having a mental breakdown while Harry Styles tries to convince us he’s a serious actor. After you see the movie you’ll understand all that PR “drama” was just Olivia Wilde trying to convince us she has good ideas.
10. Three thousand years of longing
More like three thousand years of not wanting to see this movie. George Millar could have spent his time making a new Mad Max — which everyone wants to see. But instead, we got British Aladdin…
Thanks for reading ✌️
