Too Much Summer
Lately, I’ve been home too much. I get bored easily, and for some reason I end up feeling sad in my own company. I went out for a walk yesterday without knowing where I would end up. After walking for about ten minutes, I decided to go read at a Cafe downtown. Originally, my mind was set on a specific cafe, but once I arrived it was closed. However, I walked down the street and ended up at the old Frasciti. I sat there for about two hours alone with my laptop, my camera, and my journal. While sitting there, I realized how much I was enjoying myself. Being outdoors on my own was satisfying.
For some reason I am hesitant of going out and having a meal by myself, or walking to the bookstore alone, or even going to the theaters alone. Now, when I say hesitant I don’t mean I am scared of anyone or anything, but somehow something is preventing me from doing all of these things.
I also think this uncertainty might come from being uncertain about who I am.
I aspire to be a certain woman one day, but this fear of being alone will prevent me from doing so. I hope posting these journals will allow me to come closer to myself.
Tuesday: Aug, 30. 2016