Mr. Al Pete
Aug 22, 2017 · 5 min read

Mister Peterson’s Neighborhood: Clear Visions: #DOBETTERTUESDAYS Therapy Maybe…?

…good morning and happy #DOBETTERTUESDAYS to you all. Cutting to the chase on the point of this blog is that I’m thinking of seeking therapy. I’ll explain why and all the jazz within this but today, it hit me to (re)consider it…for multiple reasons. No I’m not depressed, mad, angry or anything you would automatically assume as to why I’m thinking of therapy. It’s none of that. I’m actually in a cool mental state about the factors of why I want to go…I would like to try this avenue. It might help…who knows. Let’s get to it…as easy as how I can explain it without going everywhere with it…


  1. My current mental state on things. I can totally tell a difference in how I think now vs. how I thought years ago. Let me tell y’all: it’s some of the REALEST thoughts I’ve EVER had in my life…to the point it scares me *laughs*. Literally. Now, I’ve had realistic thoughts about typical things like life, relationships (whether it’s family, significant other, friendships, business, kids…all of that), politics, learning the biology of yourself, etc., but I’ve come to the thought that these thoughts I’ve had didn’t ‘work’ because for one, the people I’m around aren’t matching up with me and two, I don’t really think I was personally taught how to pull that trait out of me and capitalize on it. I don’t fully understand that and I would like to. Therapy maybe…?
  2. I’m still holding on to the past. Being completely honest with myself, it’s a few things that I’m still holding on to that I would love to rid but it’s still there to where it disturbs me. One would say just don’t think about it or even throw their personal experiences in it (happens all the time), but when it comes to certain things, they’re embedded in you…for respected reasons. Transparent example: DeJuan. How do I even START to think of how to just let things be what they are and in hopes, it’ll change? Double back: (1.) How do I even START to think (2.) …of how to just let things be what they are (3.) …and in hopes (4.) it’ll change (which is a whole process in itself). Thats too much for me to be thinking…I’m trying to make up for lost time here…I don’t have time to think that (explanation in next point)! When it comes to general people doing off things, it’s easier to push them and their thoughts away but when it’s someone close or dear to your heart, it takes longer and the understanding is more difficult to handle. Another quick example: past work relationships. I protect myself so much from dealing with past situations that have made me wanna lose my shit…but I don’t want to miss out on any possible leads that could work out. So how do I use full discernment without being a scary cat? Get me? Therapy maybe…?
  3. Freedom. I came to a point maybe….*thinks*…maybe last year where I just said ‘fuck a lot of shit’. What’s been more baffling than challenging is that these feelings been easy to act on and it feels damn good. Like ‘touch me in the morning’ feel good. Baffling because again, if you haven’t been reading dickhead, I’ve never experienced these feelings. To continue with my son’s example from above: Does it mean I don’t love him for feeling like I need to move on in life…? Not at all. Do I need to focus on myself and do more for myself…? Without a doubt. So my thing is, how do I deal with that and have it as a balanced feeling? Like I wanna ‘party’ but still be respected as a parent, to him. To conclude my child talk, because I’m over it, I don’t wanna waste time thinking too much into him and other things (speaking in general again). I’m clearly sick of overthinking and it’s been feeling good that I don’t worry about things as much as before. On the flip though, I can see these thoughts getting dangerous and eventually damaging to myself if I don’t get a hold on it. Being an asshole, or more stern with people and situations, if you will, is pretty easy to be/do…and no fronting, I like being that way when it’s warranted, not because I have all rights to be one. It’s a total difference graduates. Therapy maybe…?
  4. ‘I’m not a businessman, I’m a business…maaaan!’ I see it in me and feel it in me to do…I need genuine coaching and mentoring on this level. As more time goes by, I look back and pull positive thoughts from the ‘past’ (the opposites of passage 2 *laughs*) and realize that I’ve done some major things with little resources and courage…and with the flaws experienced. That needs to be applied to some other goals I would like to accomplish (I want my lounge yall…I’m getting that joint…here you go atmosphere). Also, I mean…I only rap and DJ and act and host and promote and advertise and market and cultivate and mentor and coach and push folks to do their dreams and work hard and LOVE and CARE about others and style and do AND take photography and I sing and I sketch things like I did when I was young and I can cook and whole bunch of other shit…why wouldn’t someone want to wanna help Al Pete grow? Naaawww…never that…that’s silly of them not to *laughs*…BUT…folks be silly and don’t. So I need to find something in me to push me to another height. Yeah I can travel to various cities and network and yeah I can be online posting ‘boss-like’ pictures but I really need to know what questions to ask and how to actually become a ‘boss’. I might be missing something. I feel like I am. Don’t twist it…what I’m doing now is working and everything that I just mentioned that I do rates as ‘good and very close to excellent’ on a scale…but I’m hitting the Duval ceiling. Been hitting it. Maybe I can knock that ceiling down for me and for others (that wanna help themselves and others) and grow, ya know? Also, all of these thoughts hold me down mentally to where I’m physically hurting. That shit ain’t cool so I need a tad of coaching or an encourager. Therapy maybe…? P.S. Peace to Hov for that line.

I feel better even typing this out. It doesn’t add its personal experiences when I type my stuff *laughs at being a complete asshole*. I know my job has that therapy program. Maybe…I’ll look into it. I’ll do some other research as well. It would be easier if I could talk to Oprah, Big Boi and Michael Baisden and they give me some nuggets and I go off and be dope!

We’ll see.

-Allen

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Mr. Al Pete

Written by

Hip Hop Musician, Actor, Host, Journalist, Prophet and your favorite neighbor. 'Mister Peterson's Neighborhood' album is available now on http://mralpete.com.

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