Be A Curious Dad
Hey Fellow Dads,
If you have an Apple TV subscription then you may be very familiar with the Ted Lasso Dart Scene. If Not Check it out below.
“Be Curious, Not Judgemental” — Walt Whitman
I recently found myself reflecting on a powerful moment from the show “Ted Lasso” that I believe holds a lesson worth sharing. I absolutely love the show and was instantly taken back to this scene when it came across my social media feed.
It’s about being curious, not judgmental. So, let’s dive in and explore why embracing curiosity is the key to being better fathers, husbands, and overall, better men.
The Power of Curiosity:
You know, I’ve noticed something — curiosity has this incredible ability to open doors. It’s not just about learning new things; it’s about understanding and connecting with the people around us. When we approach life with a curious mindset, it transforms our relationships, making them deeper and more meaningful. It allows us to be better fathers by not coming to the table with preconcieved notions that the world has to fit into. Teaching our children to be curious teaches our children how to seek understanding and knowledge.
1. Overcoming Underestimation:
Think about those times when people underestimated you. It happens to all of us, right? The story Ted tells about always being underestimated seems like an everyman story but the key is understanding that every underestimation is someone elses projection of himself.
During my oldest son’s high school football days, there was this one kid who incessantly criticized him, questioning his skills and making him feel like a terrible football player. I vividly recall a moment when I had to physically intervene to prevent a confrontation between them. Following that incident, my son and I engaged in a thorough conversation about the tendency of kids to project their own emotions onto others, hinting at potential underlying issues.
Fast forward to Senior Day, a moment meant for celebrating achievements for the senior classes last moments as a high school football player. I couldn’t help but observe the stark contrast: the kid who had been critical of my son stood alone on the field, while my son was surrounded by his two sets of parents, five siblings, and two grandparents. During our car ride home, I brought this observation up with my son, and he acknowledged having noticed it as well. I asked him, “Can you see what might be causing that kid to feel angry, envious, and project those feelings onto you?” His response was succinct but revealing: “Yeah.”
This experience served as a poignant reminder of the power of curiosity over judgment as well as highlighting what being curious provides YOU, a peace of mind because you don’t have to take it personal.
2. The Pitfalls of Judgment:
Now, let’s talk about judgment. We’ve all been there — making assumptions, passing quick judgments. It’s human nature, but it’s a slippery slope. Judgmental attitudes can hinder our growth, both personally and in our relationships. When we judge, we close ourselves off to new possibilities and experiences. We also set the stage to be grossly misinformed. I wrote another article that goes into what judgement creates; POISON!
3. Communication and Connection:
Here’s a thought: open communication is the backbone of a strong family. Being a curious dad means asking questions and being genuinely interested in our kids’ lives. Whether it’s their hobbies, school, or dreams, curiosity fosters a deeper connection. It’s not just about being physically present but emotionally engaged. *Pro Tip: Your spouse will also really appreciate you incorporating it into how you communicate with her.
4. Leading by Example:
As dads, we’re natural leaders in our families. We set the tone. Embracing curiosity is not just a personal journey; it’s a lesson we impart to our children. By asking questions, showing genuine interest, and being open to new experiences, we set a positive example. It’s about teaching our kids the value of curiosity in shaping a fulfilling life.
In my own life, I’ve seen the transformative power of curiosity. It’s about asking the right questions, actively listening, and being present in the moment. Just like Ted Lasso, who discovered the importance of curiosity on a car ride with his son, we, too, can learn to appreciate the richness of life by being genuinely curious about ourselves and desire more for their lives.
So, fellow dads, let’s be the curious dads, husbands, and men — the ones who ask, who listen, who lead with an open heart. It’s not just a mindset; it’s a way of life. Let’s be the dads our kids look up to, the husbands who foster strong connections, and the men who continually grow.
Remember, in the spirit of Walt Whitman, YOUR JUDGMENT IS NOT NEEDED JUST YOUR CURIOSITY!
🍻Cheers to embracing curiosity on this journey of fatherhood.
