Keep It Up, Liberals. It’ll Be A Long 6.91 Years For You

With the ascension of Donald Trump to the presidency, liberals have lost control of the White House, Congress, and their blood pressure! LOL! I love watching them squirm, especially after 8 years of Holocaust-level disaster that Barry Soetoro wrought. I remember when Nobama won — we didn’t protest, we didn’t march, we didn’t complain even once. We kept our heads down and continued making sparks in our metallic goo factories. That is what real Americans do, and it’s exactly what we did. We are the Sparky Goo Brigade, and we get on our motorcycles for God.

pictured: fake news

But the way these liberals piss and moan, you’d think the world was gonna burn up! So what if more kids have to learn at home and not fuck so much? Could do them some good to get out of that sinful city bubble. Our bubble is better because there are more log cabins and fiddles at sunset. They should get back into our bubble for the porch pancakes and deer hunting.

Oh well. I’m fine to have them whine and cry on the TV as long as they like — it’ll just make these next 6.91 years all the sweeter!

Yes, over the next 2517 days and 8.8 hours, Trump will reign supreme — issuing out executive orders to ban things that are not fiddles, destroy the deficit, raise the maximum wage, and burst a few DEMONcrat blood vessels! The more those precious snowflakes wail about their dying country, the more armor it gives Trump to win a second term in 2020, which he’ll carry all the way through to 2023 — and nearly 2024!

I cannot wait to see the looks on their faces when the Soros-owned media has to report that Trump won re-election for another 2.91 years! How’s that for “alternative facts”?

I’m going to enjoy every one of these days, and when it comes time for our big money thunderdad to leave the Oval Office on December 17, 2023, I will send Donald Trump off in style. I’ll prepare myself an honorary “Thanks For The 6.91 Great Years Mr. President” breakfast, with all the trimmings:

  • 4 and 1/5th pieces of bacon
  • Half egg
  • 1.54 real sausage
  • 1 full turkey sausage, which is bullshit sausage my doctor says I have to eat so my anus will close again
  • 1 full tube of Go-Gurt. I am not fractioning my ‘Gurt for anyone, not even Mr. President
  • 2 cups of coffee, each 9/11ths full — to commemorate the time ISIS founded Obama while Trump cheered in New Jersey
  • 57.2 oranges to make 1 and 1/34th cup orange juice
  • 6.66 porch pancakes, unfortunately these are griddle cakes straight from the Hellmouth but there is no disputing the math on this one

I have to get back to the message boards now! It’s just too fun to see these participation-trophy winners whimper and grouse!

See you in 2020, liberals, and for an extremely specific portion thereafter!