A letter to a friend…

Dear Friend,

I’m sorry. I apologize for taking you for granted. I took you for granted and neglected you for the false love and admiration of others…but you were always there.

I wish I could call you my best friend, but I’d never treat any friend like I’ve treated you; much less my best friend. If I were in your shoes, I’d think I was hated; but I love you. I just don’t know how to show it.

It’s not natural for me to be selfish. I know, in that way, we’re the same. I can honestly say that if I had given you one quarter of the time and energy I’ve invested in dead people, places, and things, you would have returned that kindness ten fold. But I didn’t. You’ve always given your 80. My giving, to you anyway, has been closer to negative 20. I’m sorry.

I wish I could take back all the hurtful thoughts, mistrust, blame, anger, and lies, but I can’t. Honestly, I can’t say with any certainty that I’ll do better. Because you’re so easy to lie to…because you always see the good in me through the darkness…Thank you.

I guess I’ll end this before I start to ramble or beg for your forgiveness, which is so unnecessary. Because I know you’ve already forgiven me. That’s just the kind of person you are; I love you for that. And even in my love for you I realize that it’s selfish and somewhat based on conditions. Thanks for being the loyal fool you’ve always been. Maybe this time, I’ll be worthy of that loyalty. Until next time…I love you, Thomas.

Sincerely You,

T.J.

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