I’m taking Gary Vaynerchuk’s challenge, which is to write something on Medium about something I rarely talk about. And since I’m on a journey like Srinivas Rao to become a non-B.S. version of myself, I decided to play.

So let’s talk about relationships. And technology. And disruption.

Gary recently wrote a post, “Technology Hasn’t Changed Us.” He says that this “incredible human interaction we had all the way back in the 199o’s” was in essence, a mirage.

I say technology has changed our communication. But it’s not an either/or proposition.

For instance, grandparents can now visit their grandchildren through Skype and keep up with their lives through Facebook and YouTube. Technology has definitely helped.

But what concerns me are the connections that happen between two people when they’re face-to-face, gazing into each other’s eyes and breathing one another’s oxygen.

Just having spent the holidays with three different sets of relatives, I observed the nonchalant appearance of smartphones by younger family members as others chattered around them.

Meanwhile, I confess to having a tiny Miss Manners lurking within. I tried to gently engage some of these members into conversation. But it wasn’t easy.

Because my inner Miss Manners also doesn’t want to interrupt someone else’s conversation.

And that’s where I’m stuck.

I love technology. My own iPhone is nearby at all times. But how do we engage each other when we’re face-to-face?

Aside from the tsk-tsking over cell phones at dinner, I wonder at the deeper implications of constantly being hooked to an electronic device, even while attending a family event. And don’t even get me started on funeral “selfies.”

I believe it has affected human interaction. I see less patience with one another, surface relationships and shallow perceptions of intimacy. As a Communication Art major from another world, I still believe that true, meaningful communication does not happen in seconds but in hours, months and years.

It takes time to connect with people, especially with family members you only see once or twice a year. Those are the times when you want to put away your phone, grab your favorite beverage and sit down with them to talk. To really talk… and look into their eyes so they can see yours shining with love and interest. And some of those family members won’t be around forever. Some will move away. Others will die. We only can count on the present time to make this happen.

Have you any idea what a gift it is to give someone your time?

I know we’ve crossed the Rubicon on exiling cell phones at family events. But I do hope that in 2014, we’ll use our smartphones… well, smartly. When we’re with people who we care about, let’s really be with them.

Love and friendship needs time and it seems that time is the true disruptor.

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Like what you read? You can check out my blog at Maguire Copywriting, where I write about copywriting, content marketing, and customer service. And the occasional rant.

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