Life in 10 tracks #7: Frankie Goes To Hollywood — Welcome to the Pleasuredome

The two-edged sword of having high expectations

Possibly the biggest blessing and curse I have is that I tend to expect high standards from myself and others. Of course this is no bad thing, and indeed it’s nice to feel that people trust me to give of my best in whatever it is I’m doing. That mindset got me good results at school, and a good professional and personal reputation.

The reason I say it’s a two-edged sword is because it does mean I’m sometimes really, really hard on myself and expect things of myself that I really have no right to. For example when I’m new into a role in my professional life, I will take it really hard even in the early weeks that I’m not already as up to speed as I know I will be given, say, six months in.

I remember as a teenager reading an interview with England footballer John Barnes around the time of the 1990 World Cup. For non-football fans, Barnes was one of the most technically gifted players of his time, and widely respected as such around the world which was rare for an English player in the 1980s. What really stuck with me, was something he said about his self-talk when he made a mistake:

And it can be because of just one incident, something in one game where I couldn’t control the ball…and all of a sudden it’s in your mind asking why you didn’t control it. You’re thinking Maradona would have killed it instantly, or Glenn Hoddle…any little thing, you can lose your confidence.

Now Barnes was good, but Maradona was one of the all-time great players, and Glenn Hoddle one of the most gifted English players ever. Barnes had high expectations of himself because he wanted to be the best, and held himself to the standards of the very best, even though it could work against him. I felt that response deeply, and I still have that same sort of conversation with myself every day.

The track I reference here has always stuck in my head as the underlying mindset, because of the following line:

Shooting stars never stop, even when they reach the top.

Overall, I see it as a good mindset. It’s something I’ve actively had to try and learn to manage as it’s caused me more than once to burn out, but I’d rather have that problem than not care.