Life in 10 tracks #8: Mary J Blige— Family Affair

Being influenced every day by the values of my grandfathers

I’ve always been very conscious of my roots, especially as my life has gone on and taken a route very different to those of my parents and grandparents.

I’m an only child, as was my dad and my mum has only a brother, so we’re a relatively small family. Within that, though, I’ve always felt lucky that my mum and dad were from different backgrounds because I think that’s given me a combination of ethics and values as I’ve grown up and got older.

This is best illustrated by my grandfathers.

My grandad on my mum’s side (Colin) was white-collar, working as a cartographer making maps at the Ordnance Survey whereas my grandad on my dad’s side (Chuck) was very much blue collar, his being a rigger at Southampton docks. A rigger is someone who goes out in all weathers, at every hour of the day and night to tie up ships with huge steel cables.

I was twenty two when we lost Colin, and twenty five when we lost Chuck so I count myself so lucky I had them for as long as I did.

They were from different backgrounds, did different types of job and there was actually a slight generational gap (fourteen years), but I always felt their morals and values were highly, highly aligned and to be admired. They had both seen active service during World War Two, an experience that I cannot even comprehend, but I can only imagine must have had an influence on how they lived their lives. Despite being of the generation of “stiff upper lip”, both were expressive in their different ways with their feelings, and I always felt loved and appreciated.

At any given situation that calls on my moral code, I always apply the lens of what would Colin and Chuck do if they were in the same position.

And they’ve never let me down so far.