Owning Our Time
The importance of using our days with intention
“My actions are my only true belongings.”
- Thích Nhất Hạnh (Vietnamese Buddhist monk, peace activist)
The foundation of essentially every action or choice we take in a given moment is rooted in intention, both conscious and subconscious. Whether we think about it much or not, there are many reasons behind the decisions we make and the way we choose to spend our time.
So the question is, how much do we actually contemplate why we make certain choices? Do we approach our time intentionally, seeking out the best uses of it or do we allow outside influences to dominate our time and lives?
“Guard your time fiercely. Be generous with it, but be intentional about it.” (David duChemin)
As with all things, I can only speak to my own experience. For many years, I allowed my time to be consumed by outside influences. My dogged pursuit of a career and doing things to please others around me in order to fit into this image of a “normal” life left me drained and unhappy while I allotted basically zero time to myself … and when I had time to myself, I failed to approach it in a positive way. Finally, when I reached the end of my rope, I shifted my focus. I decided, plain and simple, to take back control of my time and to become intentional with it.
I now make a serious attempt to be discerning with how I spend my time. Throughout my wanderings around the country these last eight months, I’ve made the conscious choice to explore new places and meet new people, but also go to locations where I can reconnect with family and old friends. Mixing new frontiers with familiar surroundings.
My intentions after setting out from Portland, Ore., in January were many: to grow as a person through adventure and exploration, to learn to love myself through reflection and self-acceptance, to step out of my comfort zone and into new experiences (of the legal and illegal variety), and to cast off the shackles of security with the ultimate purpose of living on my own terms.
In being intentional with my time, I’ve also worked on filling the void in creativity that I had permitted to move into my life.
I write. I journal nearly every day. I draw. I photograph.
A good friend recently told me that the “desire to create is enough justification to create” and I hold fast to that idea. My writing and other art doesn’t go through layers of approval and doesn’t need to be seen by anyone. I do it for myself because I hunger for different avenues of self-expression.
On the other hand, I consciously choose to publicly share some of my work and thoughts like this with the intention of fostering constructive ideas and discussion.
Now, I do realize that I have a bit more “free time” on my hands than most people right now. The idea that we can take every moment of our lives and utilize it toward the right or best use is extremely idealistic. We all have different circumstances in our lives. Jobs, money, loans, health problems, children to care for, you name it.
And those highly individualized situations bring us around to a key aspect of being intentional with our time, and that is finding balance.
Clearly, there are elements of the day that are out of our direct control. Most of us are expected to be at work for certain hours, there may be meetings or appointments, commitments to follow through on. However, there is much of the day left over in which we are in direct control of our own time. It is during these hours and minutes where self-awareness and being intentional with our choices comes into creating that balance. A balance that I believe will lead to a happier, more well-rounded existence.
Our culture espouses the values of having a strong work ethic, grinding it out for the sake of being “successful,” making money for yourself and the company; supporting a family. There is absolutely nothing wrong with working hard and wanting to succeed. However, when we prioritize career/company success ahead of anything else, especially personal happiness, mental sanity and physical health, we are not creating a balanced life. And we aren’t consciously using our time in the best sense.
What is it that you do in the morning before work? What do you do when you have down time at the office? On your lunch break? In the hours after work before bed? On days off? Do you use up all your vacation time or let it sit there? These are some moments when we can create balance by being intentional. What to do, who to be with, where to go … the steering wheel is in your hands.
There are some who have been able to create a very well-balanced life. They work hard at their job, but they also consciously work hard at capitalizing on the best use of their time away from work. They have intentionally made time for themselves, for their family and friends — all to the benefit of their body, mind and soul.
The intentional use of our time in the best/most productive way differs for everyone. Sometimes the best use of our time in a given moment is to just put the phone on silent in the other room, take a deep breath, close our eyes and rest for 10 minutes. Other times it could be making the conscious choice to go for a long hike after work instead of heading to happy hour (fyi, drinking a beer at the end of a long hike is way better than sitting in a dark bar, in my humble opinion). Maybe it’s writing, reading or volunteering for a cause close to your heart. Only you know what is the best use of your time because only you know the core reasons behind the actions you decide to take.
If you are one of, I expect, many of us who feel unbalanced. Take a step back. Look at the choices you make, the people and distractions you surround yourself with and put in the work to take back your time.
After all, we can’t go back in life. We can only go on.
