What Being Single REALLY Means
There’s this false belief that being single is something to be feared, avoided and overcome.
Hey idiots, that’s not single life you’re thinking of. That’s Ebola.
After all, there’s several reasons to love being single.
Firstly, you can prioritize yourself and all the things you want to do, like building your career or travelling the world.
Secondly, you can make impulsive decisions without having to consider anyone else, like skinny dipping with strangers or spending your entire paycheck on clothes and alcohol.
Thirdly, you can spend more time with those you care about, like your friends, family or twelve cats.
Fourthly, you don’t have to share everything with someone else, like the bed covers or the last slice of pizza…which is a double bonus when you’re in bed eating pizza.
And finally, as cliché as it sounds, you can find out who you really are.
I’ve been single and in relationships, and they’ve developed me in completely different ways.
The most balanced people I know, and the ones who are the most consistently happy, are the ones who are capable of enjoying being single and being in a relationship.
They don’t see single life as a stepping-stone to being in a relationship. Nor do they see it as a waiting period.
They see it for what it really is; a huge opportunity to have full command over your life and the direction it goes in.
But so many people don’t see it that way, and I divide these people into two categories; the serial daters and the early settlers.
Serial daters are the ones who have to be in a relationship at all times,
and when they’re not, they’re desperately on the lookout for their next one.
Come on, are you really so boring that you can’t enjoy your own company?
Do you really have so little to do that you need someone to fill up your time?
Is the acting in porn really so bad that you can’t watch it?
When you’re spending being single just endlessly chasing other people and neglecting yourself, you’re wasting some of the best days, weeks and months of your life.
Then there’s the “early settlers”, who settle down and get married early.
Now, some people naturally find the love of their life early, and that’s amazing.
But it’s only amazing if they settle down for the right reasons.
The ones who do it because they feel lonely, or pressured, or bored, or impatient or because its convenient, well they have the wisdom of a box of crayons.
The current divorce rate is over 40%, and in fact, data shows that the best age to get married and avoid divorce is between 28 and 32 years old.
Because that gives people the time they need to enjoy themselves, to find out who they are, and to build their own life in which their happiness isn’t dependent on someone else.
In other words, you’re not wasting time by being single or just casually dating, you’re investing it making the right decisions.
Just to be clear, I am pro-relationships and pro-marriage.
But I’m also pro-single life.
Let’s destroy this notion that being single is something to be feared, avoided and overcome as quickly as possible.
Because serial dating and early settling have problems of their own.
For many people being single is a choice, and it’s a smart choice.
A strong, independent life is the perfect foundation on which to build your future.
I’ve always thought the concept of being someone’s “other half” is bullshit.
Firstly, why are you only half a person? Why are they only half a person?
Couples shouldn’t complete each other, they should complement each other.
Being single allows you to become a complete person before choosing to share your life with someone else.
The most important relationship you’ll ever have is with yourself. Get that one right, and the others become much easier.
Plus, if you break up with someone, it’s always good to have your own life to go back to.
So explore your interests, follow your passions and pursue your ambitions.
Being single isn’t a problem that needs to be solved, it’s an opportunity that needs to be seized.
An opportunity to have no commitments holding you back.
An opportunity to have no responsibilities weighing you down.
An opportunity to have complete freedom in finding out who you really are and what you really want.
So the next time your friend or relative asks why you’re still single, say “fuck you!”
There’s nothing wrong with you if you’re single, because that implies that people in relationships are inherently better.
Have you seen some of the couples around? I’d rather date my hand.