Think Pretty Thoughts

So I’m minding my own business wandering through Target’s little section in the front. The one that has those cute cheap little things you don’t need like pretty paper straws and cute paperclips. And I find a pack of file folders for $1. The front folder in the pack says “think pretty thoughts” and I thought to myself, what if I frame these for Charlie’s nursery, they’re so cute!
I contemplated it for a while and I did not, in fact, buy the folders. Because despite their cuteness (and cheapness), I do not want to teach my daughter to think (just) pretty thoughts. I want her to think challenging, deep, sometimes painful thoughts. I want her to think about how she can grow, how she can change herself, how she can change the world around her. And those thoughts are often very un-pretty.
Let’s start with the fact that I am not naturally a thinker. I’m not. I hear things and like them and that’s the end of it. I don’t usually dig much deeper than that or ask why. I’m a feeler and most of my decisions, for better or for worse, usually come from that. Discussing theology and politics make me extremely uncomfortable and anxious. I would much rather let my husband make the choices for me and stuff my head in a whimsical book instead. And although that is my natural tendency, I am quickly learning that I need to become a thinker. I need to consider politics and theology and world matters because our baby is watching and learning from me.
But back to the main subject: there is nothing wrong with thinking pretty. I myself love dresses and tea time and houseplants and pretty journals. But the world and all of its problems is not pretty. While I want Charlie to love ponies and stuffed animals, know proper table manner and etiquette, I also want Charlie to know what is happening in the world around her.
Sexual slavery is a huge problem in our world today. Thinking about that, the victims, the practical solutions, and those responsible… those are not pretty thoughts. Thinking about human rights, racism, malaria in Africa, orphans, and homeless animals… none of those thoughts are pretty. They’re scary and overwhelming. They’re ugly. They’re not lovely and pretty and soft and kind thoughts. Discussing theology and exegesis and nerding out to Star Wars and Harry Potter… those are not pretty thoughts.
When I see the vision for my daughter’s future I try to be flexible. Because we are not raising a baby, we are raising an adult. Hopefully we are raising an adult who is thoughtful, considerate, kind, and a fighter. After all, that is what we named her. Because we are not raising a wuss. We are not raising an empty-headed little girl. We are raising a strong woman. She may be passionate about human trafficking or world hunger or politics. She may be passionate about finding a cure for AIDs or cancer. She may be passionate about raising her children to be incredible humans. She may be passionate about being a pastor’s wife. She may be passionate about providing healthy school lunches. Or planting trees. Or saving kittens from burning buildings. . And none of those are pretty thoughts. All of those are hard, messy and scary.
So I will not be putting “think pretty thoughts” up in our daughter’s nursery. Because while pretty thoughts are fine, we are striving to be more than fine. We are striving to be excellent. We are striving to do what is right and good and hard and meaningful. And we will have tea parties and read fun books and love ponies and wear dresses while we do it. Because we can.
Emma Watson was asked what important lesson she would want her daughter to know and her answer pretty much nailed it for me:
