He Doesn’t Call The Strong, He Calls The Willing
Welcome to Dare To Walk On Water! I am so excited you’re here!
For those of you that know me, the idea of me, Natalia, writing a Christian blog is almost laughable. Actually, let’s be honest, cue the laughter. Let me tell you about me. I am an almost 31 year old single divorced mother. Yup, you read that right. I am single. I am divorced. I am a mom of the sweetest, most handsome 6 year old in the world. He has developmental delays and doesn’t speak more than a few words. I often wonder if it’s because I’m just a terrible mother. I have sinned more in my life than I can count. I am still a sinner. I have so much to be ashamed about, that I still don’t have the courage to give all of you a full testimony. I have unhealthy habits that I still have not broken. I have credit card debt, medical debt, student loans, a mortgage, and a car loan. I probably couldn’t run a mile if I tried. I haven’t tried. I have a hard time focusing on anything for very long and seeing it through to completion. Sometimes I say the wrong things. Sometimes I do the wrong things. Sometimes I hurt people without ever having the intention of doing so.
That is me. That is the truth. And this is my starting place.
This WAS my starting place.
Until I met a man.
Yup, I’m now in a relationship.
His name is Jesus.
Being in a relationship with Jesus is not the same as going to church. It’s not the same as wearing the right things, saying the right things, and doing the right things. It’s not about memorizing scripture and regurgitating appropriate passages when someone says a key word. It’s about creating a golden link between you and a force that is infinitely more powerful than anything you can or will ever imagine, your Creator. Accepting this connection produces a powerful dichotomy. You realize how incredibly small, insignificant, fragile, and worthless you are in the grand scheme of things, but in the same instant, how powerful, valued, and beautiful you are.
So, what happens to a person when they establish a relationship with Jesus? What if I made a commitment to give 100% every day to grow closer to him? What if I dug into the Bible every day? What if I used the words written there to change how I perceived the world, my thinking? What if I actually followed the advice and commandments in those pages? What if every day, I decided to try to do and be a tiny bit better than I was yesterday in every area of my life? What if God’s will, became my will? What action steps and goals would I be working toward?
How would my life change? In a week? In a month? In a year? In a lifetime?
What will be my struggles, my aspirations, my exasperation, my motivation, my transformation?
I want to show the world what it’s like to become a Jesus follower. What it’s like to struggle with my past as I press forward into the future. What it means to fail, to fall, to sin, to repent, and to try again. To keep trying. To keep pressing forward. When we decide to follow Christ, we don’t magically change into perfect Christians over night. At least I didn’t. There are relationships to mend. There are messes to clean up. There are old habits to break, and new habits to create. There are new truths to learn. There are old lies to renounce. There is so much WORK to do! It’s overwhelming, it’s daunting, and it’s HARD. But, I know this: I am a child of God. Created with a purpose, for a purpose. Washed clean and made new. Whatever steps I take, God will be right there guiding me, showing me, growing me into my greatness.
I want to challenge you to take this journey with me. What is your starting place? Are you like me, ashamed, afraid, broken, alone, lonely? Do you struggle with sin every day and feel like God hates you and is punishing you for all the stupid things you did in your life? Do you feel like no one will understand? Do you feel like everyone will turn away and judge you if you ever shared your true self with them? Commit to this journey. You don’t have to share your life with everyone. I will do that. I won’t sit behind my computer screen and preach at you, judge you, make you look stupid. Take this journey quietly. God knows your heart. He knows your desires, your dreams, your purpose. I pray that the Holy Spirit will, through my journey, inspire us, encourage us, make us laugh, make us cry, convict us, and change us into the people we were created to be.
Maybe you are already a perfect Christian. You do everything right and know the Word by heart. Maybe, but I challenge you to keep reading. To see and understand and feel compassion for how the rest of us live and struggle. The rest of us, who go into the darkness within us, bring that darkness into the light, place it at the foot of the cross and are set free. The rest of us, who are willing to say the wrong things, to fight, to have set backs, to look vulnerable and possibly foolish so that, someday, His name will be glorified through us. I ask that you, perfect Christians, pray for us sinners as we become powerful warriors for Christ and his kingdom.
The thing is, no one really shows you how hard it’s going to be. No one really shows you how to foster and grow that tenuous connection you created when you were saved. Sure, there are plenty of people that will tell you how long your skirt has to be, where you can or cannot go anymore, or which words are no longer allowed in your vocabulary. Many people are content with shooting little judgement arrows at you from their mighty Mountain of Righteousness. Very few people are really willing to climb down, extend a hand, offer a word of encouragement, and show everyone the bruises, scrapes, and scars they received being in and climbing out of the hole they crawled out of.
I grew up in a Christian home. I have pretended to be a perfect Christian without actually having a relationship with Jesus. I struggled and fought so hard for MONTHS with the Spirit about living out my faith in public through this blog. I have to be honest. I am terrified. So TERRIFIED! I know I will lose friends. Some people will laugh at me, gossip about me. There will be people will tear apart every word I write, and and deem me unworthy of my platform. I may lose everything. I may not be able to ever get married again. Yes, these fears are very real to me.
Please hear my heart. I am willing. With tears in my eyes, I say, “Yes, God.” I will stand, exposed and vulnerable, before all of you. Unworthy. Foolish. Broken. Simple. Humbly proclaiming that God has the power to change me. God has the power to create in me a clean heart that is able to pour out grace and compassion. That there is GREATNESS, even in me. If Moses, the murderer with a stutter, could lead a nation, If Noah, who was no ship builder, built an Ark, if Joseph, the shepard boy and slave, could become second to a Pharaoh, if Esther, a simple Jewish girl, could become the wife of king and save her people, if Rahab, a prostitute, can be saved and become part of God’s chosen people, so can I. There is a saying: God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
So, now I’m calling you. Will you come down and stand with me? Will you support me as I go through this? Will you pray with me and for me? Will you suspend your judgement and show me compassion as I run toward Jesus and His promises? Will you hold me accountable, but point out my weaknesses in a loving way?
27 But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty;
1 Corinthians 1:27 (NKJV)
Originally published at www.daretowalkonwater.com.