Mrs Norway
Aug 31, 2018 · 7 min read

Hello from Suzhou! It’s our fourth day here and I finally have some time to crystallize my thoughts on our big move east. I started this post yesterday but haven’t had time to finish it till now.

We first found out about Mr Norway’s secondment in April, so thoughts of an impending move to China have been on our minds through all of spring and summer. It’s surreal to be here at last, on top of some other emotions: fear, excitement, relief, homesickness. I’m speaking for myself though; Mr Norway is quite zen about everything and is already feeling like this place is home.

We left Norway on Monday, August 28, and it was a short and smooth 9 h 45 min journey getting here. In all honesty it felt like we got to China before we even left Copenhagen; the gate was filled with tons of Chinese people holding bags of takeaway food; all of them were stuffing their faces as if it was their last meal. One auntie was even brewing tea with the hot water in her travel thermos. There was cacophonous coughing and burping, and extremely loud, grating chatter in a dialect I could not understand. Mr Norway and I finally got a minute of peace and quiet when we boarded early with the the SAS Plus travellers, but we were waiting to board on the air bridge when the rest caught up with us. The swing doors opened, and a mass of overzealous Chinese tourists swarmed towards us. ‘Here they come,’ said Mr Norway.

Welcome to China. A country of billions of people who look like me, where my forefathers come from, where I have no right to judge. And this is where where Mr Norway and I are going to call home for the next 10 months!

We landed in Shanghai Pudong airport around 11 in the morning, and spent almost an hour waiting in immigration. A signboard said the estimated average waiting time was 20 minutes: lies and propaganda. Mr Norway’s company sent a driver to pick us up, and I slept through most of the 2.5 hour journey on the highway. We got to our apartment about 18 hours after taking off from Norway, with 7 pieces of luggage in tow. The condo we live in is fairly new and renovations are taking place everywhere, so the lift lobbies look a bit shabby with dusty carpets and protective boards and stickers everywhere. It’s unusual for landlords to deliver a cleaned-out apartment so ours was covered with sand, dust, and hair. It is nonetheless brand new (they claim no one has lived here before, but why all the hair then?), and fully-furnished (even if the kitchen is empty save for a stove, a steam oven, and a reverse osmosis water filter requested by yours truly).

Here’s what we did on our first day after having a bite to eat with Mr Norway’s welcome committee (a very enthusiastic summer intern): we purchased a SIM card, public transport passes, and went to a supermarket and stocked up on cleaning supplies. I did have the good sense to bring my trusty (Singapore-bought) Magiclean wiper to China, but I needed dry wipes. Lots of them. Our first night in Suzhou was spent cleaning, and we went to bed just before midnight, crashing on a rock-hard, cardboard-thin mattress and brand new, unwashed sheets.

Day two: I woke up and proceeded to make myself a glass of lemon water, which is the first thing I do on a daily basis. I had bought 4 lemons and washed them in filtered water the day before, but I soon realised I had forgotten… to buy a knife. As mentioned, the kitchen is sadly not equipped. Well, living in China forces you to get creative, so I proceeded to use my thumbnail to peel the skin off the midsection of the lemon. To say that lemon peel is thick and unyielding is an understatement (and my nail bed still hurts from the trauma as of time of writing). I then used a spoon to slice through the flesh before I could squeeze each half into my glass. I briefly wished Mr Norway was the kind of guy who carries a swiss army knife or some kind of multi-purpose dagger on his person.

In the afternoon we were taken to the police station to register ourselves , which is something everyone has to do within 24 hours of arrival into China. We did this after 27 hours. Oops. This was however a quick and painless process. What was not quick and painless: figuring out how to get to Ikea, which is not easily accessible by public transport. Here in China everyone uses WeChat or Alipay to book taxis, but you first need a bank card to set up WeChat or Alipay, and as you might have guessed, we still do not have bank accounts, let alone bank cards (this will be done some time in September, because Mr Norway’s paperwork is still ‘being processed’.) So basically the plan was to use Didi (the Chinese Uber, or Grab) to book a taxi and pay in cash. Except that instead of booking a taxi, I booked a car — and this would auto-deduct my WeChat, which I do not have. ‘完蛋了’, concluded Mr Norway’s Chinese colleague, who was on the phone with us trying to troubleshoot remotely. (‘You’re finished’ in English.) I looked at the driver in horror, but he didn’t seem concerned. He was babbling something about how he didn’t take cash but my account would be debited anyway and I could pay back when I got everything set up. But the ultra-confusing thing about the journey was that when we reached Ikea, he charged us cash anyway. And that was that. Moral of the story: Just when you think the system will screw you over, things somehow sort themselves out anyway. Because this is China, and actually there are no rules.

In the evening Mr Norway and I decided to check out Pingjiang Lu, which is a nice street in the old town of Suzhou. We got to Guangqian Jie which is a stone’s throw away and strolled around looking at the restaurants and shops. Suddenly, my stomach started rumbling in an alarming fashion. I shan’t elaborate on what happened next but it involved a bit of running around trying to find a bathroom on a street filled with restaurants that had no facilities, and where the ones with facilities had only squatting loos. Basically, I lasted about 24 hours in China before I got the first bout of the runs. Yes. Already. ‘水土不服’, said my friend living in Shanghai, and also my sister-in-law in Singapore. (I think it means ‘The water does not agree with you’ ) For dinner I decided I’d better have something light and soothing and I ordered a wanton soup. Except the wantons came floating in a reservoir of oil. I finally understood why people accuse Chinese food of being greasy.

Our third day started off with a health check at 8am. We were not allowed to eat or drink anything from 9pm the night before the examination (Mr Norway’s company said ‘no water’, however the university I’m enrolled at — XJTLU — said ‘water is fine’… yet another stunning example of contradictory information flying all over China). We were taken to some kind of medical centre and were waiting to register when two bus loads of international students from XJTLU pulled up. On the third floor, a long airless corridor opened up into several examination rooms on each side, and it was here that all of us queued on top of each other to get various tests done. There was an ultrasound, a blood and urine test, a height/weight/blood pressure test, an ECG, an eyesight test, and a chest X-ray. A bunch of young Norwegian girls were scandalised that the blood test was done in plain view of everyone waiting in line, then when they realised they had to deliver a urine sample and the bathrooms only had squatting loos, they freaked out. I don’t know why this is so difficult for foreigners to come to terms with. The Norwegians in my yoga class back home squat even better than I do. And anyway, I can’t imagine that there’s any other way to pee out in the Norwegian wilderness other than by squatting?!

After the health check I managed to hitch a ride with the students back to XJTLU for registration, while Mr Norway went to his office for the first time. XJTLU is on the other side of the city in the Suzhou Industrial Park, whereas our home and the office is in the Suzhou New District. The time it takes me to travel between home and uni is about 40 min by car or 75 min by train. Most of the foreigners and expats in Suzhou live in SIP, whereas there are far fewer foreigners in SND — mainly Japanese. That is why there is an entire street near our home filled with Japanese restaurants, and that’s where we decided to have dinner. We found a little yakitori joint which took us to a smoke-filled basement in Shinjuku. On our way home we went into a little mom and pop store selling homewares, and the owner’s little grandson was thrilled to see Mr Norway. He probably doesn’t see Caucasian people all that much. He came over and said ‘Hello!’ and hung around us until his water balloon burst at our feet and he was banished to the back room. The owner was an older man who was extremely chatty and asked us all about Norway, salmon, and the cost of living. We’ve promised to go back to him when we need to buy a mattress for the guestbed.

Our impression of the Chinese people so far has been positive. They’ve all been warm, friendly and helpful when spoken to, although it does help that I speak to them in Chinese. Their level of English ranges from non-existent to not great, so I really do not know how Mr Norway would cope without me. He seems to think he’d cope just fine though, but says that the only time he wouldn’t have managed alone was the time we went to Ikea. I think the irony is lost on him.

Mrs Norway

Written by

Angie / 30-something / Writer / From Singapore / Lived the last 8 years on the west coast of Norway / Finding herself now in Suzhou