Why can’t my screaming be heard?

DopeReGuts
Aug 27, 2017 · 3 min read

I’m screaming loud. Loud enough to be heard. But nobody cares and nobody looks. Nobody wants to turn around. Nobody wants to life me off the ground and ask me if I’m alright. I’m just going to die here slowly with pain. Or so I think.

People often tend to take other people for granted. So do I. After all, I’m a part of this race in which every single person, be it a four year old girl or a ninety two year old woman, are trying to beat another person in every way possible. Nobody cares. Nobody wants to turn around and life me off the ground.

I am streaming down oceans of salty tears and more and more. I’m growing weak. Day by day. Hour by hour. Minute by minute. Second by second.

I’m not going to hide this because I no longer am afraid. Not right now, at least. I’ve let myself be a threat to me and with that I have let out my power to stand strong.

I told my daddy that I repeated my ugly habit. He knew that I had been doing this for a while. I thought he would ask me if I got first aid or if I was alright. However, the first question that I had to answer was, “Did anybody find out?” Don’t get me wrong. I’m a 100% daddy’s girl and I genuinely love him so much. But did it really matter if the world found out or not?

They talk shit about me anyways. Them finding out would have been no problem because it would have been all the same. These people can’t be even labeled bullies or something because, come on, then I’ll have them and their parents coming to my house and asking me fiercely if I am being bullied. Me, being the weak person that I am, will answer no.

I have been told, only sarcastically, to die, but I honestly do sometimes wonder if I should really be gone.

  1. “Your parents care for you, they love you. Think about that.”
  2. “Did you think how hurt I would have been with you gone?”
  3. “Think, for once of all the people who genuinely care about you”
  4. “You are so strong, you will get through this easily"

Yes, I know. I know. I know you would be hurt. I know you’d be crushed to pieces. But I am sorry. I’m very very selfish. I can only thing of myself and the haters as I relieve my pain. I see myself as a singing angel in heaven or a prisoner in hell burning in the angry fires with tears streaming down my face. Either being just a ghost walking on paths that don’t have a destination or just vanishing in thin air as life seeps out of my fingers.

But here I am again. I’m not an angel, not a ghost. Neither am I burning in hell nor have I vanished in thin air. I’m only human. The weak and complaining human. The one that has been screaming loud.

The funny part is everyone takes me for granted even though I have been screaming loud. Loud enough to be heard. But nobody looks because all of their minds obviously say, “What can possibly happen to a thirteen year old girl? Let’s just go”

As funny as it may sound

~Just a thirteen year old

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DopeReGuts

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