Staying Centered — A Sense of Calm

Staying centered is all about being calm, taking a quick breather, remembering the benefits and having a couple of key individuals to keep you in-check.

“You’re a rocket, you need as little weighing you down as possible, so you can fly.”

A big part of staying centered is maintaining a sense of calm. You can’t control the past or what happens in the future. But what you do control, is how you stay in the present. I’m an intense person — my mentor always said something along the lines of “You’re a rocket, you need as little weighing you down as possible, so you can fly.” But even for me, it wasn’t hard to check my tone. When we maintain a sense of calm, you naturally tend to speak softly and inspired others with your quiet confidence. How we do it is a bit more difficult.

“Use your Fitbit — it has a breathing activity on it. It helps.”

My close friend to me recently say “Use your Fitbit — it has a breathing activity on it. It helps.” Now, why did she say that? It’s because breathing has a lot to do with helping you control your emotions. It isn’t hard to schedule some time in your calendar to go off and get a quick meditation or breathing exercise in — Fitbit, Apple Watch, or Headspace are a great way to do that. But, the hard thing is that, in order for breathing to be effective — you have to transcend the basic exercise and make this a part of your life. When emotions run high, thoughts rush to your head and you want to do something crazy, you have to be able to develop an inner voice that says “Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay to feel this. But just relax. Everything will be fine.” And the truth of the matter is, time is our best friend — it can heal the worst of wounds.

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay to feel this. But just relax. Everything will be fine.”

Remember that the benefits of staying centered are astronomical — you’ll start to notice that your respect in your workplace and around your loved ones goes up almost overnight. Over time, you tend to become a really good listener when you can catch yourself and start to become more centered. People start to get addicted to your sense of calm. The same person that gave me that suggestion about the breathing activity said “Seeing you so centered gave me hope for my future.” There’s nothing like hearing that from someone that you admire the most. You also feel really good that even in the worst of situations, you can trust yourself to stay relaxed and get through it.

As easy as it is to write an article, it’s really hard in practice. I know the difficulty, so I found that the key thing is to have your best friend and/or sibling keep you in-check. It’s really easy for us to blow things out of proportion, become an obstacle for ourselves and become unable to execute even on that simplest of things. Schedule multiple calls with them in a week — put it on your calendar. When you ask for help, your loved ones won’t let you down. When you start off, this is really difficult as you may not have positive things to say or focus on the bad parts of your day. But over time, I found myself being able to say things like “I did really well today. It was really tough today, but I got through it. And I really appreciate you taking the time to help me out. I love you.”

Truth is, I found myself being very dishonest with myself, but in the company of loved ones, I am more centered and transparent. Speaking with my best friend and my sister consistently, helped me hold myself accountable, trust myself and become more congruent with myself. It’s important to ask for help, we all need it. We don’t have control over what happens in life or what other people do. But what we do have control over is what things mean and how we process them. My mentor said “At any given point, you should always act in a way that in 5 years, you can look back and say — ‘Yeah, I did my best, and no matter the outcome, I can respect myself for what I did. And I did it for me.’”

So remember, everyone goes through this battle. Staying calm, remembering to breathe, recognizing the benefits and most importantly, having key conversations with the most important individuals in your life allowed me to stay centered. What helps you stay centered?