Make like a phoenix and burn..

We’ve all had relationships that have left our hearts feeling beaten. Be it romantic, platonic or in business. It’s never easy, but we move and grow through it. We humans have a tendency however to build walls in light of these turmoil’s. Adaptations that shield us from repetition of these situations. Sometimes though, we develop patterns and these relationships become repetitive and though different from one to the next, all seem to end in heartache. We aren’t always victims of course, sometimes we light a match to burn these interactions to the ground before they can beat us down. But I think it’s time we break down the walls and start anew.

I’ve been fortunate enough to have worked with some awesome people. I’ve met some great business people in my time in the work setting and it’s instilled in me high standards of how I should be treated in the workplace. But this a good thing, because in the couple of times when I’ve worked in not so great atmospheres I’ve been able to look back and think, hey I know there are better places to be then this and I (we all) deserve to be treated fairly by colleagues and bosses. There really is greener pastures, it’s just a matter of discovering them.

But still I was always one of those people who had a hard time finding my place in the crowd. I had a lot of friendships that left me jaded in the end. And it never occurred to me to ponder why I didn’t have the same standards when it came to my friendships or in my romantic escapades. And in turn I wondered why I didn’t hold value in the way I treated my friends or lovers.

Some years later, I’ve burned many bridges between people I used to consider close to me. Many people have told me that this is all part of life, that people come and go and true friendship is hard to come by.

But in a world full of beautiful humans I wonder why this the norm. Why can’t I make some of the most incredible connections and hold on and nurture them till the end of my days? I’ve found that once I love someone or something that feeling never goes. It might fade and gray out over time but if you run into that someone you still feel that same feeling. Most times the feelings have altered in some form, but at their depths they remain the same.

I find it sad that I’ve developed reservations when it comes to building foundations in new relationships. For even though I’ve been at fault in some interactions throughout my days, when I meet a new person I would hope that i’m getting a chance at a clean slate. That this person I’m meeting in business or friendship isn’t holding any expectation that i’m going to mistreat or use this person. And in turn I don’t want to have those feelings towards someone I’m encountering for the first time because any new person walking into my life Isn’t responsible for my past and they and I should be allowed the opportunity to be themselves.

“In order to rise from the ashes a phoenix must burn.” Metaphorically speaking I think this is a wonderful way in which we should go through life. Everyday I wish to wake up, having “burned” the previous day and interactions and starting fresh everyday. Because there is no greater feat then improving and growing from your past self.

To me, it is a beautiful concept, that I awake each day as if I had never made a mistake in my past, that I had never wronged someone, or that I had failed in an achievement. And in this way I can awake each day with the capacity to improve my relationships with friends and family and not hold the reservations I’ve created in my mind against them. It’s in this way I feel I become a better human. And hope that this is the example I would lead for my children and all people I encounter, because I would not wish for this life to make them hard, cold and distant.

Many times I feel as though I’ve torn my heart open and allowed it to feel all of the emotions that I come across. Embrace them and accept them for what they are. Learn from the past and yet go forward each day on the same path but in a different direction or perhaps on the same path but the scenery has changed. And I’ve become a better person for it. I’m more compassionate and I’m more conscious of how I walk on this earth. Because even though there are many unfavourable things in this world, it remains in my eyes a beautiful place.

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