Affirmative. We continue to fight for our bridges and vehemently oppose walls for humanitarian reasons. Those who say “Build the Wall” have little knowledge of our terrain as we have trains, rivers, and tunnels which cannot be walled. And who the hell is going to build that damn wall except for the very folks they’re aiming to exclude?[pardon my wandering mind…it’s 4.20 somewhere, right?]

Our most famous bridge, known as Midgley Bridgley to locals, is currently being engineered for fencing due to popularity among those unable to tap into the power of the vortex on a spiritual level. We prefer that a very large trampoline be erected because, well… humor. We’re a funny bunch that way. A law known as The Bounce for Life Law 2017 should hit your desk soon.

I realize you hold title as mayor, but please consider extending your powers as it is how politics is done these days. We envision you as a quasi superhero now that you’ve set us straight on 4.20. (As I mentioned in my previous post, we collectively flunked Gov 101 and didn’t realize plank had another meaning besides a dangerous stunt for the benefit of our Snapchat followers). Does this mean we can come out of the closet? Far efin out man!