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I am a Sex Blogger in India. Here’s What I Learnt…

simran malhotra
Nov 3 · 4 min read

My journey from being a damsel in distress to championing my own story.

I had given up. It was the darkest phase of my life and I just wanted to get paid well for writing. So, when I was offered to write for one of the most popular adult e-commerce websites, I took the job without a second thought.

For the first couple of months, I was ashamed of my work.

Growing up in a traditional society does things to you, even if you claim to be the open-minded and free-thinking kind. Though being a sex blogger paid my bills and helped me get through college, it didn’t bring honour to my name. And I knew it all too well.

Suddenly, I could sense Septa Unella following me around, saying ‘shame’ over and over again, while ringing her stupefying bell. So, I ensured to be tight-lipped about what I did. When people asked me about my line of work, I lied.

The first time I saw the website, I was caught off guard.

It was an adult e-commerce website. With just one click my screen was filled with a bunch of colourful dildos and flesh pussy pockets. I remember feeling sick to my stomach the moment I saw it. I felt my anxiety kicking in, but I curbed my nerves.

I familiarised myself with the website, wasted a few minutes roasting the previously published articles for their lack of originality and basic grammar (because why not?), and finally, started my journey as a sex blogger in India.

I had no competition…

It wasn’t long before I realised that I had no known competition in my niche. There weren’t many sex bloggers in India, let alone one that was a woman. None that I could find. The women were too embarrassed to handle such a complex and “dishonourable” subject and the men had clearly done a horrendous job with the blog before me. So, I knew I was the only one running in the race. And frankly my dear, I didn’t mind! (Completely butchered the line, but I am proud of it).

Anyway, this realisation, about being the only one, ushered a 180-degree turn in my perception about my work. I could finally put my five years of psychology lessons to use and share my perfectly worded, sex-positive opinions with my country. I mean, getting paid to give opinions? C’mon! It’s a dream job.

Besides, I had no boss policing me because my client had allowed me to work independently. So, I asked him to publish the blogs under my name. I reckoned if I am doing this, I want to go all in — that’s what she said!

Now for the part you came for…

Being a sex blogger brought me closer to the sex lives of the Indian people. I interacted with the readers and discerned that they relied on my research and wisdom to improve their sex lives. But that’s not all! Here’s the treat from an insider.

  1. Men really want to satisfy women in bed

If you think all men are selfish in bed, Indian men will surprise you. They are resolute in learning to please their woman in the bedroom. Several of them are solicitous enough to learn about menstruations and its effects on women’s sexual urges.

I was surprised to see the inquisition among men as they responded to my blogs that focused on women’s sexual health more than those that spoke about testosterone and erectile problems. What’s more, some made it a point to show their gratitude after they were done reading my pieces. Made my day, really!

2. Indian men are insecure about their size

Men are obsessed with gaining a few inches. They want quick results and are willing to spend huge sums of money on it. I swear porn has ruined these hapless creatures. Their self-esteem has hit the absolute rock bottom and I believe it’s irrevocable.

Now, it’s just them, their money, and the penis sleeves, enlargement oils, capsules, creams, injections, pumps, you name it! Although it’s great for business, the men are doomed.

3. We are open to suggestions in the bedroom

The very fact that people read my pieces regularly shows that Indian couples are willing to educate and make changes in their sex lives.

My readers ask questions, request topics and sit through a couple thousand words per blog, expressing their enthusiasm about maintaining a healthy sex life.

Safe to say, our marriages may be strong, but our sex lives are becoming stronger.

P.S. All population jokes are welcome!

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