Nothing Beats A Trial But A Failure
“What has been the biggest lesson you have learned in your career?” That’s a tough one because I have learned SO much at this point in my career and I’m still learning every day. One thing my mom always preached to me was “nothing beats a trial but a failure.” In her teaching, that translated to don’t ever be afraid to ask for what you want… if it’s a discount at a flea market, always haggle to get the best price (she was great at that), if it’s an opportunity — never be afraid to speak up and say something because you never know what is possible. I think about how that advice has stayed with me throughout my life. Asking for a job with the Miami HEAT having no idea of what was possible, raising my hand to ask if I could take on a new project and seeing all of the doors that opened afterwards, but one example stands out as the biggest lesson in what can happen when you simply ask for what you want.
After a year at Turner in the T3 program I had learned so much. The team was wonderful and they offered me a position to stay at TNT as a marketing coordinator. Success! The goal of just about any intern is to land a job. Here I was with the job offer and all I could think about was how much I was NOT ready to “settle down”. Most of my colleagues were older, about to be married (or already married), having kids, etc. I was 23 and ready to take on the world. At the same time I was offered the T3 internship at Turner, I was also accepted to a one-year Master’s program at Central Saint Martin’s College of Art & Design in London, England. I applied on a whim and the program looked awesome — but once I got accepted at Turner, I thought having some work experience would be a better look for me professionally. However, I asked the school if I could differ admission for a year based on the internship. They agreed and one-year later they reached out to see if I was still interested…
So, what do I do…take the job or move to London for a 1 year Master’s? As I weighed my options, I thought of my mom. The job would be in Atlanta which had become pretty cool — I had made some friends, found my niche and life as an intern wasn’t so bad. The Master’s program was intriguing — I loved London (did a semester abroad there in undergrad), I had family there that moved from Jamaica, and I had always wanted to pursue a Master’s degree… the only problem was the $35k I would need to pay for the year abroad. Fortunately, I had gotten through undergrad without any student loans thanks to my art and academic scholarships and the support of my Miami HEAT fam helping with books, etc. But after seeing how student loan debt weighed down many of my friends, I didn’t want to take out a loan to go to London… so in the spirit of my mom “nothing beats a trial but a failure”… I asked people to help me fund my grad-school goal. If I got the $35k, I would go to London and if I didn’t raise it by my deadline, I would take the job at TNT.
Now where do I get $35k from in 3 months? I had no clue! With the support of my co-worker Cindy, I decided to just ask for it. I wrote a proposal that offered up a collection of my art work in exchange for the money. In the proposal, I mentioned how much it would mean to me and my family, I created a timeline of what I would do before, during and after I completed the program, and how I would help the world after this life changing experience. I also had a bit of luck on my side. That same year, the NBA All-Star game was in Atlanta. I was a ball-girl for the Hawks that season (thanks to a phone call from my old boss at the HEAT). At All-Star, I saw players I worked with from my high school days. I printed and bound a few copies of my proposals and shared them with players, friends, colleagues, family anybody with a pulse and a dollar. After a few weeks, I had gotten a couple hundred dollars from some wonderful people who believed in me, but I started thinking maybe London wasn’t in the cards. Then one day I got a phone call that changed it all.
One of the players I saw during All-Star had gotten a proposal and taken it home to review with his wife. After sleeping on it for a while he called me up and said, “Hey Melissa, my wife and I love your artwork and we really believe you are going to do BIG things! We want to give you the money so you can go to grad school in London… but we don’t want your artwork. We just want you to do a good job and pay it forward.”
I. Could. Not. Believe. It. My mom was right. If I had never had the courage to ask I wouldn’t have known what was possible. To this day, I am grateful for the kindness of Tim Hardaway Sr. and his family. Without them and countless others, I wouldn’t be where I am today. One of the biggest blessings and lessons of my life and career.
Mel’s Musings
1. Ain’t nothing to it but to do it — Sometimes you can talk yourself out of something before you even try it — Analysis Paralysis. In this instance, the support of my coworker Cindy really helped me to take the leap and just do it. Don’t be afraid, whatever you think you want to achieve, just go for it!
2. Build strong relationships — It may not be as often as I’d like, but I always try to keep in touch with old colleagues and friends. A call, text, office visit, holiday card — anything to let them know I am thinking of and I’m thankful for them (NOT just reaching out when you want or need something). Build strong relationships and try to maintain those connections because you’d never know.
3. Be open — The idea of creating a proposal seemed so silly to me at first. Who will read it? Why would they care about what I want to do? (Self-doubt is real ya’ll) Instead I had to be open to the idea and just do something… then put together a plan of action.
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