What’s up with Narcolepsy?

CC image by Tiger Cloud

Narcolepsy. It’s the illness used by comedy writers everywhere when they really need a character that regularly pratfalls.

Come on, you’ve seen it: characters, pals, are walking down the street sitting at the dinner table and someone just — BAM — faceplants. There are reactions, and then the character’s friend says, ‘Don’t worry, he’s narcoleptic.’

Like this. Except I’ve never seen the movie so it might just be that he’s drunk. That guy’s usually drunk. But you get the idea. Man, I don’t see movies any more. Is that Robert Downey Jr.?

This was precisely my idea of narcolepsy until the moment my sleep doctor said, ‘You know, I really think you’re narcoleptic.’ (He also told me I had reversed my circadian rhythms and become nocturnal. He basically told me I’m a Slow Loris.)

Me.

My tentative diagnosis aside, I thought it’d be good to share what I’ve learned about this seemingly hilarious, yet profoundly awful, illness, so…

7 facts you probably didn’t want to know about Narcolepsy

CC image by lutramania

1. There is not just ‘narcolepsy’. Narcolepsy comes in two flavours: type I, which is the one where people can fall asleep at any time (cataplexy), although they may not exhibit this trait; and type II, which involves uncontrollable daytime sleepiness but you can make it to a bed first.

2. Narcoleptics may be told not to drive or operate heavy machinery. They may be so sleepy they have to take extra care when walking down stairs or crossing roads.

3. Episodes of daytime sleepiness are called ‘sleep attacks’, which is an incredibly cute term for something utterly debilitating.

Faceplanting bilby. (CC image by red.wolf)

4. It is difficult to diagnose, as the tests involve either a sleep study — conducted in laboratory conditions, where being sleepy is next to impossible — or blood tests for chemicals that fluctuate depending on time of day, person, season, or just about anything.

5. One of the medications is a methamphetamine-like drug called Modafinil that is used to help soldiers stay awake. (The old medication was just plain old meth.)

CC image by FamilyRalph.

6. Narcolepsy is a lifelong disorder. It has no cure, and the treatments aren’t always effective.

7. Prevalence is about one person in every 2000. That’s like one person on every tram at rush hour, if you live in Melbourne.

Thank you. That is all.