Christmas with anxiety: some muddled thoughts

Anyone who is not an oblivious arsehole is aware that Christmas is a very tough time for some. Those who are homeless, those separated or estranged from family, those who are bereaved in particular may find Christmas and the focus on family and the home very, very hard. And of course alcohol being the social lubricant, particularly at this time of year, makes Christmas especially difficult for those struggling with sobriety and/ or recovery.

I have received treatment for social anxiety, and it has largely been successful. However, lots and lots of social events, one on top of the other, can be very difficult for me, when it sometimes takes me two days to recover from the sensory overload I experience, even while I am enjoying myself. So here is how I deal with the festive season. It is not a “this is how to do it” list, but maybe it may help some people.

1. You have permission to say no. As Courtney Barnett says, https://youtu.be/tuzGmGotqgw. You don’t even have to give a reason. If your work office party is in your office, engage for a little while. Or don’t. Drop off your Co-op mince pies at the pot luck buffet table and leave.
2. Don’t allow anyone to pressurise you into drinking more than you’re comfortable with. If you’re on medication, be aware that it may heighten the effects of alcohol and you may start feeling spacey earlier than you normally would. If you would feel safer sticking to sparkling water, then do. In a bar, a glass of sparkling water with lemon or lime, ice and a straw can look very much like a gin and tonic. You don’t have to explain yourself if you don’t want to.
3. You have permission to spend some time alone over the festive period if you need to. Go for a walk, or invent a headache if necessary. Bringing a prepared dish can stop you needing to be around noisy food prep if you find a hot, crowded kitchen difficult.
4. If you are hosting festivities, make it as fancy or simple as you feel comfortable with. Buy pre-prepared roast potatoes or pigs in blankets or Buck’s Fizz if it simplifies matters. Set a timer to remind you to drink water. I find that lists help me to feel in control. And remember: nobody will know that something has gone wrong unless you tell them!
5. Give yourself a break after Christmas. Spend the day after Boxing Day alone, if you can. If you have to work, and you work in an office environment, wearing headphones could help, especially if most of management are out. Offer to do a coffee run to give yourself some space.
6. If you do have a meltdown, forgive yourself. It is OK. People who don’t have anxiety can find being cooped up in a house for two days hard. Give yourself some time out, drink some water and do what you need to recover.