Six months before.

It was more or less a pleasant evening.

After sending off my wife to her parents place, I had nothing special to do. She was pregnant and six months. Her parents wanted to be with her until her delivery. She was the only child for them. I could understand. But then she was my only wife as well.

Anyway, I planned to visit them once in 2 weeks and I had already blocked a month of vacation around the delivery date.

I spent the whole evening watching TV, lying down on the couch and taking it easy. It was bit boring though. Pretty much they showed the same boring stuff. Whenever I changed to Vijay TV, there was a singing show or a dancing show. And there was Deepika dancing for a famous item number in another channel. She looked damn flirtatious. I took a weekly and started to browse through it — nothing interesting as well. How could they sell this crap?

Suddenly that thought struck me like a lightning.

“My wife has gone to her parent’s house. She is not here. That means I can smoke — and do anything I want to do. “

I sensed a sudden blood rush and an immense joy.

I immediately threw the magazine, went upstairs and changed to pants from lungi and threw the lungi aside. I climbed down the stairs in two — to confirm my return to youth and freedom. I watched myself on the mirror. “Looking so handsome today!” I told myself and ah — I immediately found out the reason why in the office Kavitha keeps coming to me saying that there is a core dump in her code.

Kavitha — Kavithai

“Kavithaye Theriyuma

Un kanavu naan thaanadi “

I never thought that my wife’s absence could create a singer and a dancer out of me.

With a pack of parata, two bottles of Red Label, three packets of Gold Filter cigarettes, a pack of chips, a Pepsi can and a pack of fried chicken in your hands, how can you get the keys from your pocket and open the door? But when I touched the door, it just opened. Shit, I didn’t close the door.

I got in and closed the door.

I called Siva for company but not all the young men in the world were free like me that day. I said to him: that’s all right and I will keep the company of myself.

I took the neatly folded lungi lying on the bed, congratulating myself for trying to keep the house neat and clean. But usually I toss the lungi aside, ah — wife’s absence brings the good habits out of you as well.

It started to rain and it was getting cold. On the second round of drinking, I thought, a half-boiled egg with black pepper on top could be a perfect fit for the situation. I lighted my sixth cigarette. I went to the kitchen and helped myself. I prepared two great looking half-boils.

Damn. What time it was? I woke up with a bright sunlight. I could not open my eyes fully yet. The wall clock said 2:15. Shit — I didn’t go to office today. But then I looked at the digital timer in the cable set-top box — it said 9:00. Oh then, the wall clock stopped. I got ready quickly.

When I was tying shoelace, I glanced the house. It looked really terrible. Cigarette stubs, food remains, bottles, glasses, half eaten half-boiled eggs — Yuk. I cursed myself for getting drunk.

I closed the door.

I was really tired when I got back home later in the evening. I opened the door, removed my shoes and sat on the chair in the dark. The evening looked void. I had already started to miss my wife. I switched on the light.

The hall looked clean. There were no cigarette stubs, no plates, bottles or food remains. I put down my bag thinking may be I didn’t drink yesterday. It was after all a dream. After getting drunk it is ok to loose your memory, but it is not ok to loose the bottle. I went to the kitchen to check the trash. The bottles were there.

“Oh — my wife returned? Oh shit — I will be killed today and buried tomorrow.” I ran up the stairs to see if she was there. The bed was made. The pillows were properly stacked. The bedroom looked super clean. And nobody was there.

I sat down at the edge of the bed and started to wonder what could have happened. I called my wife to ask if she had hired any maid for me. She said no — and she also said that she had no idea to hire a maid in future also. And after a while she added that, even if she had to hire a maid under any circumstance, she wouldn’t hire a female maid.

But who was talking about a female maid?

I woke up in the middle of the night. It was damn cold. I switched off the air conditioner and went downstairs to the kitchen to have a cup of water. I opened the tap. The sound of water flowing out of the tap was the only sound I could hear, other wise the night was unusually quite and cold. Chennai was never cold like this. I came out of the kitchen and looked out through the window. The road was empty with the yellow lamp going on and off at the other end of the road. I kept watching the lamp for a while.

The next day surprisingly I woke up early. The clock wasn’t showing the right time anyway. I changed the batteries and set the right time. When I was about to close the door, an idea struck me. I kicked the shoe rack. It fell down with all the shoes falling apart. I went to the magazine shelf, picked all the magazines and newspapers and tossed them aside as I wished. I closed the door and walked straight to the train station with out looking at anybody.

There is a limit to how much work you could do in one day — I mean in eight hours of your work time. But the bosses don’t seem to get this — particularly when you really wanted to go home early. At last when I bought those two destined dosas at the cafeteria for my dinner it was 11:15. I didn’t eat at the cafeteria. I packed.

I took the train and I was almost alone. It was bit scary to travel like this. The train journey seemed quite long. I opened You Tube and played the play list named “Gems of Illayaraja”. He could be of a great company when you are alone. And the first song was “Mounamana Neram”. Wow — what a song!

I woke up suddenly as if somebody had touched me; I blinked for a while and then realised that it was my stop and I had to get down here. I have this weird habit of sleeping in the train and waking up exactly at the right station. Siva said he too has this habit. I think he is lying.

All through the streets I walked alone. I was hungry. The street dogs kept barking at me. I didn’t bother.

I slowly opened the door. I waited for a while; took a deep breadth and switched on the light. My heart skipped a beat — may be two.

The hall was clean. The shoes were neatly stacked and the magazines were put back in the shelf. My hands started to shake.

I ate the dosas in silence. It didn’t taste well though. I decided to go to the police station tomorrow — not to complain about the dosa. I will ask Siva to accompany me. I am not scared to go to police station alone — but just in case.

I played Jennings on the stereo and lied down on the sofa. It was almost 12:30. Good — the clock didn’t stop. I kept looking at the end-of-the-street lamp’s on-and-off reflection on the window glass. It was a kind of soothing effect. On. Off. On. Off. On. Off.

I woke up. It was very cold. The clock showed 12:35. I checked the digital timer. It said 1:15. I had no idea why it was cold. There was no air conditioner in the hall. My fingers were almost numb. “Good hearted woman” was stuttering on the stereo. It stopped for every second — but still continued to play. I quietly got up and sat. When the stereo stopped for a second or two, the place was damn quite. I felt somebody moving on the stairs. I got goose bumps. My heart raced like a Ferrari. I wanted to shout, but I could not. I slowly turned.

A short fat white woman moved very quickly in to the kitchen. She was very short and fully covered in white. Her hair was long until her feet. I didn’t move an inch — not even my eye balls. I heard my heart beat. I felt as if some body was twisting my intestines. My whole body was shaking. I didn’t know how long I was like that. Those were the longest moments of my life.

I slowly got up. My hands were still trembling. My legs were still shaking. I couldn’t walk. I felt very weak. I wanted to just run out of the house. I didn’t know where I kept the key. I stood there for a long time not knowing what to do.

I gathered some courage and said “Hello” but I am damn sure that even that lizard on the wall didn’t hear me. I slowly walked to the kitchen. My feet was getting cold. With shaking fingers, I located the switch and switched the light on.

The kitchen was empty. There was no one. The tap was opened but not closed. The water continued to flow.

Her name was Vasanthi. She used to work as a maid in this house long before. She didn’t tell me exactly when. Under some unpleasant circumstance, which she didn’t want to disclose to me, she committed suicide. She hung herself from the ceiling fan. The ceiling fan should have been quite strong.

At first it was bit disturbing. But I got used to it. In fact, she did all the work. She pressed my clothes. She made delicious tea and dosai. She cleaned the toilet. She cleaned the kitchen. She kept the house clean.

In short, she was a cleanliness freak. And I paid nothing.

One day after work, when I got home, I was really tired. She was not there. I badly needed a tea. I got angry and shouted at the empty hall to bring me tea hoping that she would listen. After that she disappeared. She didn’t appear for a week. After many of my apologies, one day I saw her chasing a cockroach in the kitchen.

After that incident she appeared and disappeared as she wished. Some times while watching cricket, the video goes distorted for a second and the room gets quite cold suddenly. And then she appears very next to me on the sofa making me jump.

I had to change the batteries of the clock almost every day — but I got used to those things. But no matter what, how many times I asked her, she didn’t tell me why she committed suicide.

Then one day the house owner appeared and asked me to vacate the house. I offered him a hefty increase in the rent — but he didn’t budge. His son was coming from the US and he wanted to live in this house. I asked the house owner to ask his son to buy loads of batteries. He asked “For what?” I didn’t answer him.

I asked if the maid wanted to shift with me to another house. She asked me: “What is another house?” I think she didn’t understand.

The broker stopped chewing his samosa.

“But why would you need a house where a suicide took place?”

“Just for fun”

He threw me a puzzled look.

“Uh. Mm. It’s a challenge. Yes, A challenge I made with my friends.”

He still didn’t believe.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes”

“Do you believe that they exist?”

“I told you it is a challenge”

He didn’t take his eyes off me and ordered another tea. He added “Strong and extra sugar”.

And then he bent over and took a file from his bag.

I moved to the new house myself. My wife was still in her parent’s place and it was her eighth month. I planned to go visit her two weeks later. The house was pretty new. It was also a duplex house like the previous house. It was more beautiful than that house though. I didn’t clean. I didn’t even open most of the boxes. But I opened the magazine box; took all the magazines and tossed them aside.

I closed the door before I went to office.

Obviously I could not focus on work in the office. I could not pay attention to Kavitha too. She must be disappointed. I kept looking at the time. It took an awful lot of time for the short hand to move from 5 to 6. Sharply at six in the evening, I ran out of the office. But I forgot the key.

I realised that I had forgotten the key only after reaching home. I cursed myself and kicked the ground in frustration. I decided to jump and climb the window to see what happened. Was the hall clean or not? But a dog was sleeping under the window. I shu-shued the dog. After many-many shu-shus, the dog, stood up, yawned, stretched, took its time then looked at me for a minute and then slowly walked away.

I jumped and climbed the window and took a look at the hall.

My heart skipped a beat — may be two or three or four. The hall wasn’t clean at all. The magazines were all over the hall. The TV was on. I had forgotten to switch it off in the morning.

I thought: “No luck this time.”

I went back to the office and took the key. Kavitha was still working.