Going Grade-less — Week 5: Losing Control

I woke up in the middle of the night, sweating and breathing heavy. My heart was thumping as if it was banging on the inside of my rib cage, desperate to escape. The dream (more like a nightmare) was based on something I have been thinking about for quite some time. It was a dream about what my class would be like next year … without grades.

A former colleague and retired social studies teacher, Chuck Partridge used to say that “August is nothing but a long Sunday night” referring to the dread of going back in front of the students (in NY, school doesn’t start until after Labor Day). Usually, it isn’t until August that I get one of those “teaching dreams” as my mind shifts to thinking about what it will be like next year. Often my fear takes over during the dream and I wonder will the students respect me, will I be able to meet their needs, do I have everything ready …the worries go on and on. Those dreams happen to many educators in August but not in June, when the previous school year had just ended!

The Out of Control Classroom

The biggest fear that pops up in my dreams is the fear of the classroom in which I have lost control.