Imagine you are going to the office in a good mood & thinking that it was going to be a normal day at work, instead, you hear the boss yelling at you & embarrassing you with harsh words in front of other employees, and you just grind your teeth by remaining silent.
Do you think that why did you decide to get out of bed today? For sure it wasn’t to get berated in front of others.
At work, it’s normal to get emotional sometimes. There are some limits as to what is acceptable & what is not. A boss who is toxic & often yells at you and others surely falls under the category of “not okay”.
It is also important that a situation like this must not escalate & should not continue. Because in these situations, going to work daily can feel like a minefield of misery.
Unfortunately, you can’t control the behavior of your boss, but you can control yourself & your actions. The tips & tactics given below can help you to deal with a boss who yelled at you.
Keep yourself Calm
The very first thing you must do when you face a boss who is yelling at you is just … nothing.
In my personal experience in different fields, the best thing you can do in this situation is to not react at all. I know it’s easier to say than face it but believe me, that’s worth it. You have to maintain & keep your calm because if you react with the same then some people will yell back & that will add fuel to the fire. Maybe some people get scared in these situations and want to run and hide, but that’s not the solution.
So, instead of taking both of these steps, you need to wait patiently while your boss spitting fire, and after he or she is finished, summarize & acknowledge what was said and show that you were actively listening.
Many people will think that these tactics mean you are agreeing with yelling boss but your boss feels heard & maybe then he or she will be ready to hear your point of view.
Understand the Main Cause
You need to assess what is causing this problem & situation before you take any other action. There are generally 3 types of bosses who yell, and if you know the type then you’ll have a good chance to effectively respond.
The first type is a person with a high level of emotions & who cannot control himself. He or she melts down immediately when frustrated.
The second type is a figure of authority that manages with tactics based on fear. He or she doesn’t like when someone questions their authority.
The third kind enjoys belittling & yelling at others actually and does this kind of action liberally. The first & second type of boss looks forward to work after having an outburst but on the other hand, the third type of boss enjoys making people feel like dirt.
The first type of boss tends to get back under control & return to the normal business at hand quickly. So you may need to wait until things get better. Also, you may be able to avoid future meltdowns by recognizing the problems & triggers. You will be able to proactively take care of those small issues that cause the problem.
With the second type of boss who likes to maintain his or her authority, you need to make some points & ask different questions to him/her to show that you’re trying to do exactly what he or she wants.
Finally, the third type? It’s just a lost cause. Sorry to say that but you need to look for a new job if you are having problems, or see a therapist at least.
Try to Talk it out (Gulp)
If your boss is either type of authoritative or highly emotional, and you have a good relationship with the person other than this issue, then you need to address the problem directly. Especially if the outburst of this type was an unusual incidence.
Properly think it out & select a private location and a suitable time when everyone is calm before talking out the issue. You need to present your case factually by using specific types of examples.
Here is an example of this type of situation, “I was shocked when at the meeting, you yelled at me for not following up with a client for the contract. I know that we’re all stressed about our contract and its renewal with their company, but I felt discouraged & belittled when you yelled at me this way, especially in front of colleagues & others. I am looking forward to understanding your client’s concerns to address them step by step and move forward.”
The main purpose of talk should be to work with the boss to get to the underlying concerns & issues that are causing difficult situations at work & fix them together.
Take the Issue up the Ladder
If a direct talk with the boss doesn’t prove fruitful or if you fear having too much negative impact, then you need to consider going over your boss’ head by taking the matter to HR. Before taking this action, it’s very important that you evaluate & assess the culture of your company carefully.
If your company actively promotes workplace happiness & wants to fix this kind of problem, then making a call to HR can be appropriate in this situation. Also, you need to measure whether you can trust your HR manager for this complaint so that he will keep it confidential & take it seriously.
However, if your company or workplace is not suitable for this action & has a culture that seems to accept these issues, then there is no benefit to making a complaint about it. In this situation, it is good to look for a more hospitable & better employer.
Once you decided to make a complaint about your boss, you need to approach it as a problem that is affecting the performance of the workplace. Avoid phrases like My boss is hurting my feelings, instead present your issue as a business problem.
Jump the Ship
Sooner or later, there comes a point if situations like this occur regularly & when a screamer of a boss or supervisor isn’t worth working with. If the yelling causes stress and it is affecting your mental health & over all health, causing bad sleep then it’s better to look for a new job. Either get a transfer or a new job if you want to live a happy & healthy life.
I have personally faced this kind of situation and believe me, it leads me to the biggest change in my life, a better change. I hope that this piece will help & get you out of these problems.
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