How to Win Friends & Influence People
Everyone wants appreciation. But we never bother to consider why we want it or why people appreciate us? Most people among ourselves are so passionate about themselves that they literally forgot about others i.e, they also have a heart, they also want to be appreciate, similarly as we. When everyone is too busy to focus on its goals and the hurdles between them and definitely inquires or discuss to people how to accomplish my goals or how to get rid of my difficulties, the ultimate result is that we are going away from the people i.e, our friends may be or any other people. Why? Because we are a talking machine of just ourselves, our goals, our problems etc. We want to develop interest of people in ourselves that how big machine we are, how great goals we possessed. But That’s literally a Terrible Idea. Nobody got interested in you by this method and neither will.
So, what about if we reverse the gear i.e, if we talk to people about their goals, if we listen to their problems before discussing our problems, if we try to explore them, if we become genuinely interested in them. What do you think? If some person talks about you to you, if someone purely listen your problems, if someone wants to solve your problems. What’s your feelings if someones really cares about you? Maybe you know, he/she cannot solve my problems at all but you keep on sharing with him/her. Because it gives you a relief when someone is there for you, not only with his/her problems.
I tried this approach, try to talk to people about themselves only for about just a day. The experience was higher than I expected. People are just grateful to you, thanking you t the end of the day because you care for them. You just have to start with a simple question about them. They simply go on talking to you because everyone wants that someone listen to them. Those people which generally come to us only if they have some benefit form you, they also start to develop a comfort zone with you. Sometimes, the immature problems are really hard to listen but believe me, if you are just pretending you are listening to them, it is giving you points. Someone really greatly said that “It takes patience to listen, it takes skill to pretend you’re listening.” If you keep on discussing about them, it will be beneficial to you in two ways. Firstly, you realize you are not only the person with the problems in this world, people are bearing more hardships to you, it will create a sense in you of being blessed. You thanks Allah Almighty that He saves you from such problems. Secondly, you get useful lessons, information from others free of cost.
Everyone says I’m here but they are there for themselves and therefore never get our attention. So, Don’t just say “I’m here…”. Be there for others not for yourself only, that’s the key to win over others.
So, “Try to become interested in others, they will interested in you”