Make Friends Through Love and Care
Human psychological development starting from the childhood to the old age is a complex process. In the beginning, human being requires the attention of the others to fulfill his needs and to learn. Afterwards, he starts to learn the roles he is going to play in his whole life. In the start he needs attention but afterwards he needs to put attention on others, the people around him, connected with him in any way whether through blood relation or not. It is the core principal of life. Everyone has to follow this core idea of connectivity to continue the process of living.We as human are mostly concerned about ourselves, our problems, our future, our goals, our mission and our emotions.
We consume our minimum attention towards the others, who are in need of our attention. We want people to become our friends because we think ourselves exceptional and interesting personalities. We want everyone to share our sorrows and happiness without caring about them. It is not the right way to live as life is not a solo performance and it needs cooperation for its survival. As per sociology any human without social interaction is not a human being.
After studying a chapter based upon be interested or interesting from the famous book “How to win friends and influence people”, I saw a ray of hope in the book for everyone who is looking to make more and more friends We are living in a hectic routine which is the byproduct of industrial revolution. In this era of competition one’s survival is the main thing everyone is striving for. We are consuming our lives without understanding the human nature and social relations and consuming the biggest part of our energy to complete a race, a race to secure a suitable rank in the society but unaware of the inner degradation taking place inside the modern man. In my opinion modern man is hollow.
.A common question that arises in our mind is whether we should show our interests in others or make them to realize that we are interesting ones. A self obsessed and self praising man is like nothing. He does so by talking about himself all the time and realizing others that he is exceptional personal. He just keeps on counting his achievements and successes without showing even smallest courage to ask about the other person that what he does in his life? This type of persons are not liked in social gatherings and people try to avoid them.
To fully understand the concept of others feelings, I started a challenge. Basically the challenge was to inquire about the people around myself by showing interest into them. I really enjoyed the challenge and gained a lot of useful ideas from my surroundings.
I accepted the challenge to know about the others by interacting with them without talking too much about myself. I talked to my father, mother, elder brothers, younger sister, peers and classmates about their life, vision, goal and mission in life. I came to know about interesting and exceptional things. Somebody wants to do social work while others are interested in business activities. Someone wants to help the poor after becoming a doctor while someone is helping the poor ones when it comes to the treatment of their animals. Somebody wants to be an entrepreneur and establish a good business based upon a unique idea. It was a very helpful and healthy activity for me. It helped me to suppress my feelings and listen to others. It helped me to understand about others that what they feel, sense and see. I am amazed with the results of this activity. I learned that the only way to learn is to learn from the others by seeing them, talking to them or just simply observing them.
This activity also helped me to listen to the inner voices people are having in their hearts and are not ready to express. Just a gesture of interest and people will start talking about the things they would never be comfortable to share. I would like to recall an example of a king who sent his son to the jungle and listen to the sounds of Flowers, sun rising, insects and other mini creatures. The king had a believe that his son would be able to understand the problem of the common people without listening to them if he got succeeded in listening to these distinct voices.
In a nutshell, try to listen to others; show your love, care and interest in them and understand their problems as it is the only way to earn friends and win the attentions of the people. This interest shown must be free of any internal motive or fringe benefit. It should be selfless and pure.
Good bye everyone and be happy
Muhammad Adnan