Muhammadfaiq
Nov 1 · 3 min read

Interested Challenge:How To Win Friends And Influence People

After reading ‘How To Win Friends And Influence People’ by Dale Carnegie and by talking with my friends they both teaches me countless principles to become a likable person, handle relationships well, win others over and help them change their behavior without being disturbing.
Here are 3 valuable lessons from How to Win Friends And Influence People:
1. You can make a great first impression just by smiling.
There’s that famous quote about how actions speak louder than words, because in the way we act we truly show whether we follow through on our intentions, instead of just stating them. Now imagine a smile being the first thing you see the first time you meet someone and shake their hand of course you’re going to like them.
2. To be interesting to others, talk about their favorite topic: themselves.
We all love people who listen to us for hours end as we gossip on and on about our own lives. The only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.
The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.
WILLIAM JAMES
3. If you want to convince people, get them to say yes, a lot.
We hardly defend anything as strongly as our own opinions, so the second we’re on to someone trying to win us over, it’s a hopeless cause. Here are 3 steps to help you succeed:
i. Be nice. Do the above. Smile. Listen. Be polite and patient, that’s the basis of any successful encouragement and for that matter, should be the basis of any conversation.
ii. Make it clear you have the same goals. Your conversation partner must believe you share the same interests and vision, so emphasize that by talking about the interests you actually share. They have to know you’re really on their side and want what’s best for them.
iii. Ask them lots of small questions that they answer with yes. Once you’re sure you’re both on the same page, you can start laying out your arguments, but do it by asking questions your partner can answer with yes as much as possible. Then, when you make your final point, you’re more likely to get a yes as well.
We tend to take the people in our lives for granted so often that we neglect to let them know that we appreciate them. We must be careful to keep in mind the difference between appreciation and flattery, which seldom works with discerning people, as it is shallow, selfish and insincere.
Flattery comes from the tongue; appreciation comes from the heart.
Day in and day out, we spend most of our time thinking about ourselves. But if we stop thinking about ourselves for a bit and start thinking about other people’s strengths, we wouldn’t have to resort to cheap flattery and we could offer honest, sincere appreciation.
With words of true appreciation, we have the power to completely change another person’s perception of themselves, improve their motivation, and be a driving force behind their success. When you think about it like that - when we have nothing to lose and only positive outcomes to gain, why wouldn’t we offer genuine appreciation more often?

    Muhammadfaiq

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    Mechanical Engineer to be Love teaching and reading