Marriage Is By Choice Not By Force. — A simple random thought.
Praise be to Allah! We re-iterate His praise as many times as the number of His creatures and to His Own Satisfaction. We praise Him as much as the weightiness of His Own Throne and the ink needed to write His Words! We praise Him in a way that befits His Glory, Greatness and Pride. I bear witness that there is no deity except Allah with no associate, and that Muhammad is His Servant and Messenger. May Allah send His profuse Graces, Honors, Mercy and Peace upon him, his family, Companions and the contemporaries of the Prophet’s Companions after his death till the Day we will all stand before him for judgement!
A person may hear that a woman is of good character and virtuous and knowledgeable, so he may want to marry her. Or a woman may hear that a man is of good character and virtuous and knowledgeable and religiously committed, so she may want to marry him. This is normal and part of our natural disposition as created beings. As such, it is only rightful that the interested parties make contact (in resonance with the ruling of the Islamic law) and show their intentions. But, it is wrong to come into physical contact with the other party as this will open the door to sin and corruption. That being said, religion has given people the right to marry who they want. This must not be weakened in favor of so-called traditional values and culture. I must however, establish that if these traditions and cultures are in compliance with the religious provisions, then, there is no wrong in following the traditions, else, religious provision is given priority.
In almost every society you walk into, it’s a normal thing to find children begotten out of wedlock. These children and their mothers are in most cases, rejected by their family and society. But, do these families and society sit back to think about the root causes of this bad institution? Never at once in my community if my memory serves me well, and have never heard of any in other communities either.
Every human being, at some point in their life, needs to satisfy a particular kind of biological need. This need is naturally created in every human, even animals. Religion tells us that we should bear patience until we have found the rightful person of our choice to satisfy ourselves to this end. Moreover, religion, in recognition of differences in human taste, has provided options and formula to guide us through to this end. One may be wondering, what exactly is the problem?
The problem is ourselves and our so-called cultures and traditions borne out of egotism, selfishness and injustices. Today you fall madly in love with someone but you just cannot marry him/her. Why? Because you are from a particular tribe whose people must not marry people from some other tribes. Or you are rich and must not marry a poor person and vice-versa among other things. This is what is populating our societies with children born outside of marriage. Isn’t this catastrophic? It is. The simple fact is if you deny a girl to marry the man she wants, she would do all things possible to get her man — this results in pregnancy. the same goes for the guy. If a man is denied marriage by choice, he has no other choice but to slave for a girlfriend to take care of that need. this does not end well rightfully either. anytime they somersault, a human being is brought to life later on.
We live in a hypersexual world were traditional commitment must give way to people’s choice of marriage. Parents should always know that marriage is an institution where the husband and wife are students and tutors at the same. In a marriage, no parent is granted an admission. Admission is for husband and wife. Therefore, parents must allow their children to offer admission to whomsoever they wish to partner with forever.