An Ordinary Friday
It is an ordinary friday evening at the campus of EVHS. As I leave the theater there is great applause and appreciation. The atmosphere buzzes with joy and celebration. As I had anticipated, I did not stop to thank any one of the amazing actors and actresses that stood lined up, smiling ear to ear. I always wish I could just stop right in front of someone who I know and tell them to their face how amazing their performance was, but Ive never had the courage to do any of those things. I will message them on facebook later, it wont mean as much to do it online but it seems as though I will never grow the courage to speak to a girl I admire. The reasons why I find it so difficult to ever say anything to a girl unless she is already a friend, or it is online, well thats a totally different medium article. I step away from the crowd and stride towards the door but a group of girls sitting down catches my eye. One of them waves, I pause and only wave back after an awkward delay. It is in my nature to assume that wave was not for me, but what a pleasant surprise to know it was. Another girl sitting next to her raises her head and also waves, this time I smile and happily wave back with no delay. As I step outside the weather is utterly perfect. I was not aware of this but the girl who I was with said so and I humbly agreed. I stride into the open air accompanied by this girl who I am fond of, but I feel utterly alone. You see, this loneliness is not a negative thing, I was simply so lost in my own thoughts I dont remember quite when she left. I walk and come across a beautiful girl sitting alone, she looks up and smiles. I smile back, genuinely surprised by it. We both know of each other’s existence in this world, yet only through Facebook. Somehow, the positive qualities of her bubbly personality had displayed themselves just long enough for her to crack a beautiful and relaxed smile. Without any words I smile and go about my business. I stroll further away from the theater and find myself leaning against a support beam. Perhaps as some sort of a climax to my day, I feel nothing but happiness as I gaze into the sunset. The last minutes of a gorgeous orange sunset captivate me and I feel as happy as anyone could ever be. It was in this utterly brief moment of pure joy that I realized 3 things.
There are 3 types of happiness
Everything in our lives can be divided into 3 areas of thought, past, present, and future. When celebrating something of the past, we always smile or laugh about something that just happened. Laughing about a joke you just heard, or celebrating 16 years of life, smiling because of the A on your test, these are all just celebrations of something that happened in the past, even if it was 10 seconds in the past. We look back and remember something, whether it is our greatest triumph of years past, or something a just your friend just told you, we are only recognizing something that happened and we liked. Then we can smile about the future. After all, the reasons Friday feels so great is because we are looking forward to the weekend. Similar to coming home with no homework, we become happy about something that is coming in the future. As I leaned on this support beam, I felt happier then I had in a long time, but why? I asked myself what made me so happy, and then it struck me, I was enjoying the present. There were no thoughts in mind about all the events that just happened. There was no thought or care in the world about what I was going to do when I went home. Somehow I had magically destroyed all thoughts about the past and future, I was truly appreciating and cherishing the present. You see the reason why happiness that takes place in the present is the greatest kind of happiness, is because you enjoy every single second of it while it is happening. As every second passes you are cherishing the exact moment in time and the exact physical place in this world that you possess. By eliminating the past and future, the only emotion in your entire body is happiness, and this happiness was caused by nothing. Nothing specific happened but by carefully appreciating the present, happiness became the only emotion in my whole body. This happiness filled me with such invigorating life it was unimaginable how happy I felt. We worry about what could happen in the future, we regret what happened in the past, but we forget how important it is to stop thinking about both of those things, and remember to live in the moment.
Happiness is …
I sat for a solid 10 seconds and watched my cursor blink and eventually decided to leave this unfinished. Who am I to tell you what happiness is? Nonetheless, I felt as though this pure moment of happiness was caused by a personal conquering of the soul. We hug and laugh around others but this happiness is no where near the euphoric moment I discovered alone. Only when completely separating myself with everything in this world, did I feel as though every cell in my body was satisfied and content. A wise man in my life once said, “When we hear someone talk, are we really listening? or are we just planning what to say next?” In essence, any moment shared with someone else, implies that you are thinking about the past and future. Simply the act of thinking about someone else, is clouding your head with thoughts. So perhaps happiness is pushing everyone out of your life for just one moment, and asking yourself, am I content? If you thought of all the reasons you are not happy, and then crossed out the ones that involve anyone other than yourself, you would be crossing out most of the items on that list, if not all of them.
Happiness makes me want to write
We find ourselves, only able to write about pain. Why does nobody write about happiness? The tales of darkness and depression surround us, the reason why is because what is there to say about happiness. We all know what happiness is, its so hard to write about happiness and get people emotionally involved because it could all sound cliche. In the moment of happiness, as I gazed at the orange sunset, one thought occurred to me, I must write. So here I am and I have been writing about this beautiful moment ever since I came home, because I was inspired. I find it interesting that in this moment all I wanted to do was write about it for others to read.
As the moment faded, my attention soon swerved to a girl who was running past me that I wished to congratulate on her performance. It was over and I was soon thinking about what to say to my dad and what to do when I came home, my mind was once again bouncing around the past and future. Maybe that girl only waved because I, by accident, looked directly at her. Maybe the other girl waved because she had lifted her head and seen me waving in her direction. Maybe the other girl smiled at me because of someone behind me. Despite all this, your life is a picture you paint in your head. No matter what happens around you, you are the only one that can paint on that canvas in your head. So even if some of thoughts in my head are lies, and even if some of my opinions are wrong and looked down upon, I can choose how to paint that canvas in my brain. I chose to paint a story that was full of happiness. I chose to paint a story about an amazing friday that was amazing for no specific reason at all. I step back and admire the beautiful picture of happiness that I just painted in my head, it only makes me happier.