Writing Wednesday 019: “What People Don’t Understand About You”

People Don’t Understand My Birthplace

Today’s exercise from 642 Things To Write About by the San Fransisco Writers Grotto is “What People Don’t Understand About You” This is more in line with much of my previous writing here on Medium. Here are some highlighted pieces: Patience, Pleasure?, Life & Death, Heroes, and Creativity.

Can you ever really understand someone? Sure you can have an understanding of them, but is it possible to ever fully understand anybody but yourself. I think that it can be achieved to a high degree, but only after understanding yourself. Without self-awareness how can one’s awareness expand within another? I’m working on my self-awareness so I think that my understanding of others is consequently improving. Of course, there’s still things I don’t understand about people, and that they don’t understand about me.

What people don’t understand about me is my ambition. My dreams. My hunger. My renaissance. I’m not aiming to walk the path of the conventional and have a deep calling from within to make my mark on the world. My ambition and current level of commitment to my dreams have definitely alienated some people, and I don’t think they understand why. I do, and will explain.

Simply put, I want to invest my time not spend it. I need every second to advance my skills and vision. People don’t understand commitment anymore. I refuse to commit to what isn’t leading me towards the path of becoming the universal man that I strive to become. In order to make this happen, I realize that I can’t offer a blind and unbalanced commitment to things outside that realm. People don’t understand that my hunger has led me away from my thirst for immediate pleasure. It’s not uncomplicated, and I haven’t totally subdued the urges for immediacy. I’m aiming for the long game now though and really cultivating patience. People don’t understand that I’m still 3 years or so away from transitioning from my self-directed apprenticeship into the creative active state of Mastery. Most people don’t understand the Robert Greene reference or that path of skill acquisition and patience.

My dreams are vast and expansive. My path is not linear, not easy and not for everyone. The distance between many people and myself is widening. Not with everyone, but with those that don’t understand craftsmanship, hard work and the quest for self-actualization. Those that aren’t becoming focused on personal development and how that leads to the ability to contribute at higher levels beyond oneself aren’t remaining in my sphere. My inner circle is no longer full — it can’t be. Not everybody wants what I want. Not everybody will put in the work or sacrifice to get what they want. Not everyone is pleased by how I live my life, or by my unwillingness to relent.

One thing I’ve grown to understand about myself is that I often aim to please everyone — leaving myself lowest on that hierarchy. Serving others at the highest level, and helping to impact and inspire many people is one of my ultimate ambitions. However, I’m not there yet. I’m not at the level of mastery in any sense in order to fully realize that ambition. I still have nearly 1000 days worth of the apprenticeship portion and need hours and hours of practice in writing and other skills I’m developing. I must build myself up and advance greatly in order to help others at scale. I must set the example in my own conduct and behavior before I can influence the collective. People don’t understand my desire to be a leader. I think people don’t understand leadership. I’ve seen real leadership and can attest to it’s value. I must become a leader. The world needs more leaders. I am learning the craft of leadership.

What people don’t understand about me is that I love learning, and how to apply this learning best for myself and others. I love teaching too. Detaching myself and looking at my past and present, I think people misunderstand and underestimate what I’m learning. As much as I’m learning what to do, and how to become skilled diversely, I’m also continually observant of what not to do. What doesn’t work, what makes people unhappy, and unfulfilled. What should I avoid? What pitfalls can lie on the path, and what behaviors guide people into these pits. I’ve learned these lessons in my own experiences, but more so as I grow older I learn them from those around me. How not to run a business has been a lesson that’s been revealed to me throughout my life. In learning business, I must learn the best practices, and understand the worst practices to avoid at all costs. My past has been a great teacher, and presently I’m still enrolled in my chosen curriculums.

Go Beyond the surface and the foreground, Don’t miss the depth in the background

I would like for people to understand some things about me. Firstly, that as much as my writing and mentions myself, may sound egocentric and arrogant. I truly don’t want it to. I’m sharing my internal dialogue as I advance and become the man I’ve dreamed of becoming. I’m sharing what I’m learning and experiencing — not to boast, not to pontificate — but to provide insights and inspire growth and development in others. This is a record of my becoming. This is something to point back and show where I came from. I’m showing the process of working on myself to be able to contribute my best. Secondly, I want people to know that I’m not going to settle. I have callings and inclinations that I’m following, and those are what I truly want in life. I won’t “get a job”, “settle down” and live a life of pure consumption. I will produce. I will contribute. I will make my mark. I won't be dragged down and degraded into the abysmal mediocrity of the unfulfilled, uninspired and ungrateful. I will fight until my dying breath to make the world a better place. Starting with myself. Then with the next person who wants to better themselves, then with the next individual, then with groups then with society as a whole. I may not be making the impact I dream of yet, but I will relentlessly pursue it. People don’t understand that I’m part of a tribe of strivers, leaders, and creative masters. We change the world.