Every kid is unique and mine are no exception. I am not sure how we ended up with 4 kids with completely different personalities!
Caleb is a self proclaimed nerd, with a bit of misfit thrown in for good measure. He’s also exceptionally well mannered, or so I’m told. Maya is a mini me. She’s the life of the party and extremely needy if you’re not paying attention to her, her year 1 teacher summed it up perfectly, she’s a Flibbertigibbet! Tyler is an enigma, he can be the happiest most loving boy I’ve ever been lucky enough to spend time with or he can be the meanest little monster that has ever raised seven levels of hell! Lochie is the baby, a mamma’s boy through and through and the cheekiest of little monkies, he’s also as cunning as a sewer rat.
I love all my kids quirky little attributes… unless i haven’t had coffee. Then I love nothing and no one! That says more about me than them though.
When Ty had his first appointment with a Pediatrician and Autism was suggested, I called my bestie and I cried. Ugly cried with snot and all! She listened to me bawl (and ‘Poor Me’) and then told me it would be alright, that his diagnosis didn’t change him. He was still my squishy boy that gives the absolute best cuddles ever, he just had a box now. The thing is I know how hard it is to escape that box, Caleb has been in it for 15 years. I knew it would make people see a diagnosis and not my perfectly beautiful little troublemaker.
There is so much that people just put down to Ty’s diagnosis but truthfully, sometimes he is just being an butthole, because he’s a kid. His diagnosis isn’t an excuse for bad behavior. I can’t stand it when people say that it’s alright that he lashes out, it’s understandable. He still needs to learn accountability, we have to teach him that before we let him loose on the world. That’s our job. To raise these little humans to be able to make it in a sometimes cold, hard world and to take accountability for their actions.
Chris and I try to just see Tyler… We try not to just see his autism, which is something we still don’t understand fully. We are so lucky to have limitless information at our fingertips, it was a whole other story when Caleb was diagnosed. I didn’t have the internet, it was expensive! There was no smartphones, it was another time. The problem we face now is that there is too much information. It differs so much! Is their diagnosis something we want to fix? We don’t think so. They would both be something other than themselves. There are a million different suggestions for tackling Autistic traits and we figure if we keep trying new things it can only help.
In the spirit of trying new things, we are reading a book at the moment on disciplining our kids in a fashion that doesn’t intimidate, threaten or basically break them, it’s called “No Drama Discipline” and I’m finding it very interesting! Buy it HERE! Basically it’s a scientific guide on how to train your kids brain. I’m sick of the old adage “My parents did it this way and I turned out fine”… Why not try something different and see if we can get better results? Science Yo!
Be excellent to each other!