No Love Series: Life Beyond Love, a novella, Chapter- 19, The Ultimate Remuneration
Some days passed and I felt too ill. I left bereft, lonely, and robbed of myself leading to utter depression and illness. I could not share my pain with anyone, not with Mohon, Shanti or with any of my friends. Even I could not explain the situation to Soma.
Sometimes I cried, shouted, pleaded, and requested, just to make him understand.
I tried to connect with him again and again. I waited for him but he did not connect, I texted him, call him, mail him, but everything remained unanswered. He just ignored my existence.
“If you cannot love me why don’t you tell me frankly Akash? Is the relation a burden to you? Look Akash if you want to come out of it then admit it. But this type of uncertainty and dilemma just tear my heart, spoiling my life. Sometimes I think you are just playing with my emotion, in a word just using me as your free time game.
I’ll not blame you or your way of life or thought, till you spare me off your game. Come on Akash. Discuss with me, what you want of me. I’m fed up and depressed. You know how much I suffered in my life, how much I struggled. I did not hide anything from you. I wanted to be with you. Now, at least tell me the truth, who am I to you? I’m dying Akash, dying. If you cannot accept me then say it bravely to prove your honesty even after so much of it.”
But there came the only irritated response,
“How dare you send me such a long trash? Don’t you have any sense?”
I just got stunned and stunned.
My heart coiled like a singeing animal pricked with a hot iron bar. I pawned my everything in this relationship and the relationship was at stake.
But I also felt surprised at the same time why I could not block him from my life, why I’m so blind in his love when everything was so wrong with me, without nourishing it was destroying me.
Days went on Akash did not contact me except for that harsh growling. After 15 days of careless passing, I got frenzied. One day I called him impatiently. He picked it up after 13 rings.
“What the hell of you Akash? You don’t answer my phone call or message.”
“Hello, I’m with my friends. Don’t call me.”
“Akash, I want to speak to you.” I was furious and desperate.
“So urgent?” The mockery and sarcasm in his tone tore me.
“Akash why are you behaving with such cruelty, I tolerated along. Now I just cannot bear it any longer. You come and go as you wish, care nothing for my emotion.”
“Aatri you can speak later. I’m busy.” He just cut the phone.
Bitter agony flooded my eyes.
Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows.
