On making amends

On this Yom Kippur, I know we are supposed to Atone. I know we are supposed to ask forgiveness and forgive, and start with a blank slate.

But Rabbi.

What if the transgression passed many years ago? Like in 5772? And now its 5776! And what if I let those other high holy days pass with no apology?

And what if I’m not ready to forgive her, and besides, she doesn’t observe Yom Kippur. She’s not Jewish, this holiday has no significance for her. She doesn’t want forgiveness from me. Otherwise, she would have asked. The ball is obviously in her court.

But Rabbi, why are we still Facebook friends? After 4 years of silence? Is she secretly checking up on my life, just as I check up on hers?

Rabbi, can I be forgiven for the sin of rejoicing at her failures? And is that something I should ask forgiveness for from her? Or from God? Or you? Or myself? And Rabbi, what if I don’t believe in God?

Oh, and Rabbi, while I have you, I have an existential question.

If I only ever type these questions on my phone, does that make You “Rebbe Siri”? Or not a Rebbe at all?

These are important questions Rabbi, and I am eager to know how I might proceed with the day of atonement.