If I’d known, I could choose the Bear

I was 8, the first time I was kissed… We were playing soccer in the streets, when boy (14) just grabbed me and stuck his tongue down my throat

I was still 8 when a teacher slid their hand up my uniform and their finger inside of me

I was 12 when an older man try to feel me up, that time I slapped him and ran

I was 13 when a piano teacher used a ruler to first slap my fingers and somehow ended up on my breasts. He too got slapped. I got grounded.

I was 16 at a party when a 20 something man pushed me in a corner and started making out with me. My brother happened upon the scene and knocked him out.

I was still 16 when another man got mad that I would let him kiss me and struck me in the face. I struck back. He struck back. I was a lovely shade of black and blue, but he didn’t get a kiss.

I was 19 when my date took my virginity by force, so drunk he didn’t even realize that he had raped me or that I’d been a virgin. He was rough and brutal and I was bruised and sore for days.

I was 22 when I helped a friend clean up his house cause his fiance was coming, while he was out picking her up from the airport, 3 of his friends showed up and I couldn’t fend all 3 off.

That was the day I almost died and spent 3 days in a hospital… if only i had known I could have picked the bear. Where was the bear when I needed it?

PS. I was in my mid 20’s when I made love voluntarily for the first time.

#TheAmericanHaitianPoet