I haven’t had Boston cream pie since, and I doubt I ever will, because the opportunity for it to taste like indulgence and humanity and normality has been lost, and now it can only taste like regret.

If this were me, I would go back and have a bite to represent forgiveness and to feel a mother’s love…a love that wanted to share something special with me. Your mother wasn’t beyond forgiveness for being poor. You aren’t beyond forgiveness for having been a child who didn’t understand the messages given to you by your culture.

I have spent far too many years beating myself up for having chosen to be an artist and an activist. I have done my time crying at the grocery checkout because food stamps don’t cover sanitary napkins. My PhD is in storytelling for computer game design: you would think I would be making money hand over fist. But I’m an older female and so am locked out, even though I have former students who are now heads of university departments in game design both in Australia and the UK. I am even quoted in various books.

I made the right choice being an artist and an activist. Certain things need to be said. Those with the money are unlikely to thank me for saying them. I bought their propaganda: it’s hard not to when it’s everywhere and we are saddled with it from our earliest days. Therefore since my culture has failed me, I have to validate myself. I have to shed myself of inappropriate expectations. My work is to help people to wake up to the glamours and illusions and see what can and should be: a world of kindness, hope, and peace. Forgiveness is a good place to start for all that.

Dr Katherine Phelps

Written by

Activist, Author, Playwright, Performer, Tea-drinker: katherinephelps.com